#if i think too hard about when the last time we posted something like this was i'll die
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 (𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥?)
Sypnosis [You go out to scavenge for food, basically.]
Characters [Poppy, Doey The Doughman.]
Note || it be rough down in Playtime Co fr, also the potential for the fluff is unmatched. Like, trying to vy for some light and hope, despite the horrors that await us at every turn in the factory. Raghh— also I’m posting another one after this, I wrote both of this and the other in tandem.
The factory was a maze of forgotten memories and rusted machinery, its shadows deeper and darker than most could ever imagine. Yet, amidst all the chaos, there was still a flicker of hope for survival. You were tough, yes—no stranger to hard labor and hardship—but survival in the backrooms of Playtime Co. required something more. Food, for one.
The small toys in the safe haven, especially Doey, needed sustenance, and even though they were small, they weren't any less deserving of food than you. Poppy, Kissy, and the others—tough as the journey was, you couldn’t ignore their needs. It was your responsibility.
But before you could set out, you found yourself in the worn, cold hall of the safe haven, where Poppy sat with a gentle but questioning look. Her eyes, despite their haunting bloodshot hue, carried something soft, something almost maternal. Her porcelain face, cracked as it was, held the same delicate, thoughtful expression you had come to expect.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Poppy spoke, her voice light and almost melodic. It had a faint echo, as if the walls themselves remembered her long-forgotten commercial days. “You’re going out to scavenge, aren’t you?”
You nodded, giving her a small grin. “I’ll bring back something for you too, Poppy. Don’t worry.”
Poppy’s eyes narrowed slightly, a flicker of concern passing over her features. “You should be careful out there, you know. The factory's a dangerous place. Even for someone like you.”
“I’m tougher than I look, Poppy,” you reassured her, though there was a hint of apprehension in your voice. No matter how tough you were, the factory still held secrets, and not all of them were willing to let you go free.
Poppy looked down, her fingers twisting the ribbons in her red hair as if caught in a whirlwind of thoughts. When she spoke again, her voice had lost some of its previous cheerfulness, replaced by something deeper, something weary. “You have to understand… It’s not just food that’s at stake, you know.”
Your brow furrowed, confused at first. “What do you mean? The food—”
“I’m talking about the Prototype,” she said quietly, almost as if the mere mention of it weighed heavily on her. “If you go out there, be careful. He’s always watching, even when you don’t see him. The food… it’s just the beginning. Things could get much worse, much faster. You’re already in too deep, aren’t you?”
Her words gave you pause. Despite the factory's twisted games and horrors, the Prototype loomed over everything, a constant shadow.
“I know,” you sighed, “but we’re not getting out of here without doing something. The others—Doey, Kissy, and even you—need to be taken care of. And if that means I have to risk it, then so be it. I’ve survived this long, haven’t I?”
Poppy smiled faintly, her porcelain lips curling ever so slightly. “You’ve survived, yes. But maybe… maybe you don’t have to do it alone. I know I can’t leave, not with everything that’s happened. But we can’t let him win. We can’t let him keep us here.”
You gave her a reassuring nod, feeling the weight of the factory’s twisted past pressing down on you both. “I won’t let him win, Poppy. I’ll be back. Promise.”
She stood up slowly, her delicate porcelain limbs moving with an elegance that belied the danger lurking just outside the safe haven. “Be careful. And if you can find anything more than food… anything that could help us escape, don’t hesitate to bring it back. We all deserve that much.”
As you turned to leave, Poppy’s soft voice called out to you one last time. “Don’t get lost, okay? The factory is full of distractions, and not all of them are friendly.”
You smiled at her words, a small flicker of warmth in your chest. “I’ll be fine. Just stay safe, alright?”
With that, you stepped into the darkened halls, your mind focused on the task ahead. The air was thick with the scent of rust and decay, but your resolve was firm. You had a job to do. Not just for yourself, but for those who had no way of scavenging for themselves. And you couldn’t let them down. Not after everything that had happened.
The factory's mechanical heart seemed to pulse around you, but you kept moving forward, determined to find something—anything—that would give you all a chance at survival.
The factory was a place of eerie silence now, broken only by the occasional echo of footsteps. It had once been a bustling factory, filled with the sounds of laughter and the buzz of mechanical parts working in harmony. Now, it was a place of fear, of shadows lurking in every corner, and of memories that clung to the walls like ghosts. As a former employee, you had seen things here that no one should have ever witnessed. Yet, amidst the horror, there were still those who needed you. The small toys that had found sanctuary in this forsaken place — Doey, Poppy, Kissy, and others — were relying on you.
Food. The thought lingered in your mind like a simple but necessary task, a reminder of how even in a world so broken, survival still required basic needs. You had made your way through the depths of the factory once before, and though the dangers were still there, they didn’t faze you the way they used to. You were tough, resilient — your body honed for the challenges this factory threw at you. But even you couldn’t fight the gnawing emptiness in your stomach. And it wasn’t just for you. Doey, the ever-caring doughman, had proven himself to be a true companion. And Poppy... Poppy had become something more than just another toy. She had become someone you could rely on. Kissy, too, though she was quieter, always watching from the shadows, had her own way of offering help.
You knew where to go. The factory had its secrets — areas tucked away behind locked doors, hidden alleys between forgotten rooms where remnants of old supplies might still be found. The storage areas and old kitchens, once a part of the bustling workforce's meals, were now just echoes of the past. But perhaps, with a little luck, you could scavenge something to bring back. It was risky. The factory had changed since the disaster. The toys that once greeted customers with joy and laughter had become twisted, warped by the Prototype's influence. Yet, there were still pockets of safety — places where the light still flickered faintly.
You moved quickly, but cautiously, your eyes darting from shadow to shadow. The factory’s labyrinthine corridors seemed to stretch forever, each turn filled with uncertainty. You had a destination in mind, but that didn't make the journey any less perilous. The faint sound of machinery echoed from far off, and the distant scraping of claws against metal made your pulse race for a moment. But you pushed forward. There was no turning back now.
As you reached the old kitchen, memories of its former use haunted you. It had been a place of warmth once, where the workers would gather, a place of respite. Now, the shelves were bare, save for the scattered remnants of broken toys and discarded wrappers. A few boxes remained — their labels faded and worn, but their contents still promising. You pried open a few, finding only scraps of half-eaten meals and stale bread. Not much, but it would have to do.
You moved through the dark corridors, the boxes tucked under your arm, and it wasn’t long before you spotted a small, familiar figure in the distance. Doey. His doughy body shuffled forward with surprising agility, a small bundle of food in his hands.
"I thought I might find you here," he said, his voice soft but warm. "Food’s scarce, but we’ve got a few things hidden away. Thought you might need some."
"Anything helps," you replied, grateful. "What about the others? Poppy? Kissy?"
Doey smiled, his form stretching slightly as he thought. "Kissy's still laying low. She’s... been through a lot. And Poppy’s keeping an eye on things, making sure the others are safe. But they're hungry. We all are."
You handed Doey a few of the boxes you had scavenged. "We’ll make do," you said, though the truth was, the food would hardly be enough to sustain the group for long. But it was better than nothing.
“Poppy will be thrilled,” Doey continued, his voice quieter now. “We’ve all been struggling to get by, and every little bit helps. You know, it’s funny… in a place like this, food doesn’t just fill your stomach. It reminds us of a simpler time, a time when we didn’t have to worry about every little thing, when we were just toys living for fun and play.”
You nodded, understanding the gravity behind his words. While Doey often kept things light, he had his moments of deep thought, moments when the weight of what had happened here truly sank in. He didn’t often talk about the past, but you knew from what little he'd shared that he was one of the few who still remembered the humanity behind the toys—the lives they once lived. That empathy he showed for the other toys, even those whose humanity had long been erased by the Prototype’s cruel machinations, was something you admired about him.
“I know Poppy wants to put an end to all of this," Doey continued, his voice soft but serious now, the usual joviality replaced by a more reflective tone. "But I think... I think there's something worth saving here. Even after everything that's happened, these toys—like us—are still capable of so much more than what the factory intended. I believe that. Even if some others can’t see it.”
The words struck you in a way you didn’t expect. You had always known that Doey, despite his playful exterior, had a more complex side—a side that had always tried to balance the need for action with the need for understanding. While Poppy, the other leader of the Safe Haven, was adamant about destroying the factory and moving on, Doey had a different perspective. He wanted to understand, to find a way to preserve what remained of the toys' essence, to protect them.
"You really think there's a chance?" you asked, genuinely curious.
Doey nodded, though his expression remained neutral. "I do. Not all of us are beyond saving. We just need the right push. Poppy may want to destroy everything, but… I can’t just give up on them. I can’t give up on us."
There was a certain sadness behind his words, a sadness that only surfaced when Doey was truly vulnerable, when the weight of responsibility took a hold of him. But it was that very vulnerability that made him such a powerful leader—because it made him relatable. He understood loss, struggle, and hope, and he knew that sometimes, saving someone wasn’t about destroying everything around them. It was about offering them a chance at redemption, even in the most hopeless of circumstances.
"You know, Doey," you said, your voice steady, "You're not alone in this. Poppy and the others may not always see eye to eye with you, but… I think you’re right. We can’t just abandon the idea that there’s good left in these toys."
His smile returned, albeit more subdued this time. "Thanks. I needed to hear that."
Just then, you both heard the distant sound of footsteps echoing through the factory—another sign that the factory wasn’t as empty as it seemed. You both turned your heads, ready for whatever came next. But for now, in this brief, quiet moment between you and Doey, there was a sense of peace—a fleeting sense of hope amidst the ruins.
"Come on," Doey said, his playful tone back. "Let’s get this food back to the Safe Haven before anyone else starts getting ideas. They won’t be disappointed."
The two of you walked back toward the Safe Haven, the only place where any semblance of safety remained in this factory of horrors. As you passed through the corridors, the shadows seemed to shift. The factory had a way of making you feel watched, as if every creaking floorboard or distant thud was a reminder that the nightmare was never truly gone. You quickened your pace, eager to return to the others.
When you reached the Safe Haven, the sight of the familiar, fortified walls provided some comfort. Inside, the toys were scattered in various corners, huddled in their own small groups. The warmth of their presence was palpable, even if they were all, in their own way, broken by what they had endured. Doey moved to the corner, setting down the food he had gathered, and you followed, your eyes searching for Poppy.
She was standing near something—you couldn’t make out what, her porcelain face calm but her eyes searching the dark expanse beyond. As you approached, she turned to you, her usual cheer absent but replaced by something more serious.
"Did you find anything?" she asked, her voice soft yet filled with hope.
"Not much," you replied, holding up the food you had gathered. "But it's enough for now."
Poppy nodded, her lips curling into a small, appreciative smile. "We’ll make it work. We always do."
It was a rare moment of peace, fleeting though it was. You had been through so much together — the horrors of the factory, the twisted games and monstrous toys that had haunted your every step. But here, in this small corner of the factory, you had found something like family. It wasn’t much, but it was all you had.
And as you sat down with the others, sharing what little food there was, you couldn’t help but feel that, for all the darkness, there was still something worth fighting for.
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime x reader#x reader#poppy poppy playtime#poppy playtime poppy#doey the doughman#poppy playtime doey#doey x reader#doey ppt#ppt 4#poppy playtime 4#poppy playtime chapter 4
229 notes
·
View notes
Text
Peach VI
Peach V | Peach VII
Summary: Steven Grant Rogers is a mob boss trying to get clean. It’s definitely because he’s in love. With you. He's got you on his turf in NYC. You two FINALLY admit your feelings for one another and seal the deal. But how far are you willing to go for this love?
Pairing: Art Dealer/Artist/Philanthopist (Mob Boss) Steve Rogers x Reader (Peach)
A/N: This is it! I hope the smut is up to par. When I tell you I’ve agonized about this. But thank you to all who were in my inbox and dms giving me encouragement this week. Love you bunches! ❤️
This fic is connected to the Bucky Barnes Knock You Down AU, and DIRECTLY AFTER the events in Peach V. Your interaction keeps me writing, so let me know if you like it by commenting and reblogging.
Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. SMUT. Read at your own risk. Angst. Slow burn, Mutual pining, idiots in love, eye fucking, Steve Rogers is an artist, y'all!, sending (almost) nudes, phone sex, possessive Steve, references to shibari, mutual masturbation, pining, references to sex in a car, the "L" word, oral (f recieving), fingering, overstimulation, nipple play, size kink, pleasurable pain with sex, definite breeding kink, raw p in v, Lil bit of Dom Steve if you squint, references to murder. Something big may or may not happen after the last line.
Not Beta'd. All errors my own.
I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘
I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.
-------
Steve Rogers left you in your hotel room, a quivering, emotional, mess.
He’d made you cum, hard, but you felt that he was holding back, that if you’d told him how you felt it would have been so much better.
Or maybe that was all in your mind. Steven Grant Rogers was on your mind a lot since you met him as Grant Stevens in Atlanta.
A lot happened in a short amount of time that caused you to deny your feelings for him. And now you were no longer trying to keep him out.
He was definitely a distraction, but now you couldn’t deny your feelings for him any longer. You just needed to be a woman about it and tell him.
What’s the worst that could happen? You weren’t going to marry the guy, you just want to explore these mutual feelings. It shouldn’t be complicated.
Right?
You still had the rest of the week in New York to stress out about it, so that was a plus. The afternoon was ahead of you and the next day was the Summitt.
After that, you had your one on one with Steve.
Bucky told you about Steve being an artist himself during your meeting with him. So, for your meeting with Steve, you requested that you see some of his artwork, and he agreed.
You were curious to see what he could create, and you were anxious and turned on at the thought of him as a creator.
You were so into Steve Rogers.
And you didn’t know what you were going to do about that.
—--
Steve had to stop himself from going back up to your room three times after he left. He finally exited the hotel and stalked down the street back to the Rebirth building to his car and pulled out his phone, dialing Bucky and pulling out of the garage.
He needed a drive and a little alone time to clear his head and come down from you, but he also needed his friend’s help.
“Wassssaaaap! Did you get the–”
Steve cut Bucky off.
“Remember that shopping trip we took a few weeks ago? For the ring?”
“Oh shit.”
“Yeah. Meet me on 47th street.”
—-
That afternoon, you just kept your distance from Sharon and ignored her, focusing on the task at hand and all business. You didn’t want to waste energy on her.
Your energy was spent on thinking about Steve and wondering if he was thinking of you too. You wanted to text him, but you were chilling. You didn’t want to seem to eager.
You were successful in your self control until 11 pm as you tossed and turned in your hotel king bed. Doubts, but mostly need and desire, coursed through you.
You were going to find out exactly what Steve was doing right now and who he might be with. You shook your head at how much you cared; it was definitely not something you regularly did. You weren’t used to feening for someone.
You were choosing violence as you posed on the bed in front of the mirror. You sat on the bed, crossed your legs and snapped a picture.
You weren’t naked, but your panties were skin tone and your sleep bra was sheer and you were feeling needy.
Before you thought too hard, you sent it to Steve, then jumped in bed and pulled the covers over your head with that feeling of dread and panic when you don’t know if you’ve done something supremely reckless or not.
—
Steve was ready for the Summit, but he couldn’t stop thinking of you. Sleep was elusive, so he was self medicating, sketching your body from memory of mostly touch.
His phone vibrated and he almost didn’t pick it up, but when he saw your name, his heart sped up.
He clicked through to your message and his heart started hammering in his chest.
Sorry, wrong thread.
The picture you sent along threatened to give him a heart attack. He zoomed in a couple of times and then read the message again. What the fuck?
——-
In less than a minute your phone was ringing. You picked up immediately.
“Don’t fucking play with me, Peach.”
Steve’s growl got you wet, but you instantly regretted your horny decisions.
“It was a mistake.”
“It absofuckinlutely was. You’re joking about it being the wrong thread, right? That is mine, correct?”
You shivered at his double meaning and at his possessiveness.
“Yes, Mr. Rogers.”
Your voice was needy and that awakened a hunger in Steve. He was beyond frustrated that he wasn’t there to spank your ass raw, but he remained quiet.
You sensed his mood.
“If I were there, I’d make it up to you…”
You were testing the waters, experimenting to see if he would give you what you wanted despite his annoyance.
If he would give you what you needed.
“What would you do?”
Steve’s baritone was silk in your ear.
“What?”
You suddenly found that you couldn’t breathe.
“What would you do if you were here?”
“I’d kiss you,” you rushed out in a whisper.
Steve paused, letting your sentence hang in the air.
“And?”
There was an edge to the question.
“And… My lips. All over you.”
Fuck, he was hard. Just a few words in your husky voice, and Steve delirious, imagining his hands in your hair as you kissed him.
“Where?” he asked mercilessly, his voice broken with lust.
“Everywhere…your face, your neck, your nipples, your abs. Your cock.”
You were definitely not a virgin, but you were blushing through the phone although your hand was rubbing the skin at the edge of your underwear.
“Want you in my throat.”
Steve had to concentrate to stay hard.
“Oh? What if I want more than that?”
“You can have whatever you want...”
A sense of power flooded Steve’s body, both heady and intoxicating at your admission.
“You should be very careful when you make that offer, Peach,” he said softly.
“I trust you.”
Holy fuck. Why did that mean everything to him? He cleared his throat.
“Touch yourself,” he ordered.
“Okay.”
You complied so readily, it made Steve even harder.
Your clit was so hard as you circled it.
“Are you wet, Sweetheart?”
You moaned and Steve reached into his sweats and curled his fingers around his aching cock.
“My pussy is so messy for you, Mr. Rogers,” you whispered, thrilled and afraid of how much you wanted him.
Steve rolled his eyes as his cocked jerked for you.
“Such a good little slut.”
“Fuck…”
You realized the breath you’d been holding as you listened for his voice.
“Your pussy is so beautiful Peach. And god, you taste so good. Just like a sweet peach.”
Steve knew he had you in the palm of his hand. But fuck, you had him in yours too.
“But your cunt is so tiny. I’m gonna needs to get you ready for me, Baby.”
“Is it going to hurt me?” you whined.
Steve was about to explode at your little innocent voice asking the most nasty question.
“Yes, Peach. It is,” he growled as your anticipation reached 100.
Your breath sped up and so did your fingers. Steve grunted, his fist moving faster, thumb swiping the copious dribbles of precum dripping from his slit.
He should have known it was over as soon as he opened your message.
Hot sex was happening.
Electronically.
As the coil in your belly wind tighter, you realized with both joy and dismay that you were addicted.
“Steve, “m so close…”
“Of course you are.”
Steve soaked up your cute little sex sounds, thirsty for more.
“You know what I’m thinking about, Doll?”
A shaky breath was your only response. Steve continued.
“I think I want to tie you up. Silk ropes all over you, pretty little knots. I’d tie your arms behind your back, so those tits would sit up pretty for me to slap, lick and suck. That ass would be tied up so sweet and open so I could eat it.”
Your eyes rolled at the sensations his words and your fingers were sending to your clit.
“I’d fuck your throat and cum all over that soft, sweet body. Over and over, while I tease your greedy little cunt. I want to see it drip down your delicious nipples, your belly, your hungry pussy, your pretty face. I need to see all of you covered in my cum. Everywhere, marking you as mine…Mine.”
You gasped, and then moaned and your entire body tightened up then released.
Your mouth hinged open as you came.
“Mine,” Steve hissed, tightening the knots around you both and jerking his cock until cum spurted out. He listened to your breathing and knew that you’d just cum as well.
Suddenly, he missed you.
“You good, Peach?”
You hesitated.You heard the yearning in his voice and you wanted to be in his arms, but you lied to him anyway.
“Yeah.”
Steve smiled at you. He shook his head even though you couldn’t see.
“Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow.”
“Night Steve.”
—---
You needed a distraction.
Steve looked so delicious this morning, sitting on stage and serving art intellectual in a dark turtleneck and brown corduroy suit. A suit that was tailored to the detriment of everyone who looked at him.
Holy shit.
This man was wearing a corduroy suit and he made it look damn good.
And he made you feral.
You decided to give your cousin a hard time to prevent yourself from becoming a simp.
“You look like that damn heart eyes emoji, ya know.”
She didn’t look at you as you yanked her chain. She just continued to follow Bucky’s every move and lit up when he glanced her way. She was gone, girl.
You teased her some more until you saw Steve. You sighed and gazed at him, straightening your spine as you remembered how he made you cum twice yesterday. And he’d hardly touched you.
As if sensing your gaze, Steve’s head turned. Those mesmerizing blue eyes locked with yours, and the rest of the world disappeared in an instant. For a moment, you were frozen. Pinned in your seat by his magnetism.
This feeling was so heady.
When you realized you’d been caught staring Steve down, you tried to change the unspoken subject.
“Bucky is pretty much the man.”
“Fucking-A.”
Her chuckle was all-knowing. Then she read you.
“Steve is the shit too.”
You couldn’t front anymore.
“He’s amazing. I had no idea about everything that he does. Have to say, I’m impressed.”
She was speechless and so were you. You both continued enjoying the forum when your phone buzzed.
You look beautiful today. You’re my favorite thing to study. Can’t wait for today’s art experience. Meet me at the Laguardia Place entrance immediately after the talk. Sunlight is precious.
You were his favorite thing to study!
You waited on the edge of your seat until the end of the summit. Then you were up and walking out toward the entrance post haste.
The hair on the back of your neck raised when you saw Steve watching you from the door of Rosenthal Pavilion.
His smile when you made eye contact knocked the breath out of your lungs.
In that moment, you realized that you were in love with Steven Grant Rogers.
Holy hell.
His deep voice greeted you as you arrived.
“I’m anxious to get started.”
Steve searched your face and found a different look from the partially closed off expression you’d showed him since Thanksgiving.
Your face was open and trusting. His heart did a funny thing in his chest. It was almost too good to be true.
Could you love him, too?
He tempered his mood with sensible words, filling the space that he wanted to fill with romantic declarations.
“I’m going to take you to my favorite artistic landmark in the city. I’ve loved it since I was a boy.”
You smiled up at him and took his hand.
“Let’s not waste any more time.”
—--
The driver that was taking you and Steve to your meeting place was the same one who picked you up from the airport. The one that your cousin knew so well.
You stared at the back of his head and then glanced over at Steve. He raised his eyebrow at you because of the look on your face. You grinned back, then leaned forward to tap the driver on the shoulder.
“So… Nico…”
Your eyes cut over to Steve with a mischievous look. His heart beat out of his chest at the joy you were serving him along with your chaos.
“You ever drive my cousin and Bucky around the city?”
Nico stole a look at you and smiled.
“Yes ma’am. All the time.”
“Do they ever do the nasty back here…?”
Nico laughed heartily as Steve shook his head.
“Peach…”
You shushed Steve.
“Hush, I’m trying to get the dirt. Now Nico, tell the truth…”
Steve sat back and listened to your unhinged behavior on the drive over to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden. Your spirit and your laugh made him warm inside, despite the cold day.
—-
Nico stopped the car at the Washington Avenue entrance to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Steve got out, shouldered his backpack, and then reached for your gloved hand with his own.
For some reason, you felt like a princess as you stepped on the path. The air was crisp, and there were traces of snow lingering on the ground.
You came out of the car chattering and laughing, making Steve’s heart light.
“I know Nico wouldn’t crack, but I could tell from the way he went red. Those whores��.”
“Literal Freaks,” replied Steve. “Bunny is an appropriate nickname for him, because he and your cousin…”
Steve shook his head and rolled his eyes, although he fantasized about christening the backseat of the Lincoln for you and him.
The wrought-iron gate creaked softly behind you as you entered the Garden, and you looked around in wonder as the gravel path crunched beneath your boots. A magnificent metal and glass structure was in front of you.
“This is the Steinhardt Conservatory. Wait until you see the inside.”
Steve smiled and took your hand as you stepped through the glass doors into sudden warmth shaking your head at him.
There was a heavy scent of flowers and a haze of the waning rays of sunlight beaming through the glass panels overhead. It gave everything golden highlights, including you and Steve.
You squeezed his hand as you looked around in awe.
“Beautiful,” you murmured.
And then you noticed that he was looking at you.
“Yes…”
You grew warm as you looked into his gorgeous blue eyes.
“It’s like a completely different world in here.”
“It’s our world for the moment. Just you and me.”
He wanted to add the word Forever, but he didn’t. You felt it though.
You started on an indoor path and Steve pointed out the unique flowers and plants in his warm baritone. You were impressed, again, with how much he knew.
Steve Rogers was not a stereotypical mobster. This was a man who followed a path in life that landed him where he didn’t want to be and was trying to make up for it.
As he spoke, Steve drew you into his enthusiasm, and you found yourself smiling and relaxing, asking questions and marveling at the vast indoor space.
When you came to a small alcove furnished with a wooden bench and beneath a sprawling magnolia tree, Steve stopped and took his backpack off his shoulder, and then taking off his coat and draping it over the bench as you did the same.
"Please, sit."
His voice was quiet, but there was no mistaking the subtle command.
You hesitated.
"Why?"
"So I can sketch you."
Your stomach did an odd little flip.
"Here? Now? I wanted to see your sketches, not be your sketches."
You performed on stage in front of hundreds with barely no clothes on and you were so nervous to let Steve Rogers sketch you with winter layers of clothes on. What was wrong with you?
Steve raised his eyebrow and his gaze swept up your body slowly, making you shiver. Clothes couldn’t stop the intimacy of that look.
“Too late for that.”
You raised your eyebrow at him and you felt irrationally happy. Steve had drawn you.
“Do you not trust me?”
You regarded him, guardian your reaction because you didn’t want to seem too eager.
“I do Steve. I trust you.”
It was true.
Steve smiled.
“Then please, sit down.”
You gave in with a sigh and lowered yourself onto the bench.
"Fine," you muttered. "But no weird artistic liberties. I better have a nose."
Steve chuckled, flipping open the sketchbook.
"I make no promises."
You watched as he proceeded to balance the sketchbook against his bended knee. Then he looked at you seriously, holding your gaze for a moment before his attention returned to the page, and his pencil began gliding effortlessly across the paper.
His thick fingers were surprisingly agile, moving with long, sure strokes. But then again, you shouldn’t have been surprised, with the way his fingers had previously made you feel…
For a few moments, the only sound was the soft scratch of his pencil against paper.
You attempted to sit still, staring at the plants around you. You also tried to pretend that you weren’t aware of the way he studied you with that relentless focus, switching his gaze between you and the sketchbook.
After a few minutes, Steve made a soft noise, something between a hum and a chuckle.
“What?” you asked, turning your head and narrowing your eyes at him.
“Nothing.”
He didn’t look up. But he spoke.
“It’s just... you’re trying so hard not to move, but you’re fidgeting anyway.”
You caught the hint of humor in his tone and it made you a little too happy again, so you decided to cause problems.
"Well, maybe if you didn’t look at me like that.”
"Like what?"
His lips curled into a knowing smirk, looking up at you quickly, then back down.
You fidgeted again.
"You know…"
Steve chuckled, deep and low and shook his head.
"Oh. Am I ‘sparkling my eyes at you again?’”
You scowled at him and he laughed.
“I'm an artist, Peach. I study form."
His eyes traced up and down your body, lighting you on fire again.
You clenched your thighs together to fight the flow of arousal threatening your thighs. This was dangerous. Steve was dangerous.
"You're insufferable, Steven."
“Well, can you suffer on a little longer, so I can capture more detail?”
You cocked your head in that adorable way.
“What details do you need?”
“I need…”
Steve looked at you like he needed all of you.
And he did.
“I want to capture the way your nose crinkles when you're annoyed, or how you're gripping the bench like you're about to get up and run.”
You unclenched your hands and sat back.
“You’re making me nervous.”
He tapped his pencil against the sketchbook. Then he looked down again to continue drawing.
"Interesting."
"What is?"
He licked those red lips of his and your eyes tracked the movement.
"The fact that I make you nervous."
The way he was looking at you made butterflies riot in your stomach. That special electricity was buzzing around you both.
Suddenly, his pencil stopped. Then, without warning, he reached out, brushing his fingers beneath your chin, tilting your face slightly.
You stiffened.
"Hold still," he murmured.
His thumb ghosted over the curve of your jaw and settled at the edge of your throat.
Your breath hitched.
Steve’s eyes were dark now and his voice was softer when he spoke again, but there was an edge to it now, hinting at something rough beneath the surface.
“You always do this?” he asked.
“Do what?”
“React like this when someone touches you.”
You pursed your lips together and shook your head.
Just you.
"You’re doing it again," he mused as he stroked the side of your throat with his thumb.
"What, Mr. Rogers?"
You were about to combust. He clenched his jaw and increased the pressure of his fingers on your neck.
"Fighting it."
"I- I don’t know what you’re talking about."
"You do," he intoned, his voice stern.
"Don’t hide from me, Peach."
Your pulse beat beneath his fingertips.
"You think I don’t notice how you react to me?"
Steve’s hand grasped your throat, pressing more firmly before he let go.
"Hold. Still," he murmured, those blue, blue eyes stormy.
His fingers tilted your face up with authority now. You froze for a moment as his thumb came up to pull your chin down to open your mouth.
“Breathe.”
He slowly pulled his hand away and you had to stop yourself from chasing his touch.
Steve clenched his jaw, trying to restrain himself. If he had to guess, you were wet and ready for him to do whatever he wanted to you right now. But he willed himself to be patient.
He picked up his pencil again, rolling it between his fingers, like nothing had happened.
"Good girl," he offered to the page as he returned to his sketch.
Steve knew what he was doing. Knew exactly how much he affected you. You waited impatiently, clenching your thighs together desperately as his pencil continued to scratch on the paper.
"Done," he said, as he lifted the sketchbook toward you.
You gasped as you looked at the page.
The drawing was stunning. Steve had captured you with uncanny accuracy, from the curve of your parted lips to the shading of the different colors in your eyes. The hollow of your throat seemed to pulse, and you could almost see the indentations of his fingers.
The portrait was beautiful. And it told you everything you needed to know about how he felt.
“This is… how can I thank you?”
Steve’s heart flipped in his chest as he reached out and grabbed your waist, pulling you toward him on the bench.
"Steve…"
His eyes went to your mouth.
"Say that again," he murmured, barely above a whisper.
Your whole body was burning, but you stayed quiet. You were paralyzed with the possibilities.
"No? Too shy now?"
His voice made you impossibly wet. If you gave in, you were about to get everything you didn’t know that you wanted. And that scared you.
You let out a shaky breath.
"Steve."
Something flickered behind his eyes. Something hot.
“Have I told you that I love the way you say my name?”
His hand came up again against your side, slowly, more deliberate. His fingers moved over the curve of your side, and slid against your breast, his thumb ghosting over your nipple.
He continued, tracing over your cleavage and finally landing against your throat again, pressing against your pulse and driving you crazy.
"You're shaking," he murmured, voice low, thick with need.
Then, without breaking eye contact, he leaned in and gave you a kiss against your throat. And he lingered, lips warm against your skin, before pulling back just enough to smile against your skin.
Your whimper told him so much.
"You act so tough, but you’re so easy to ruin."
You raised your arms and pulled him close, fingers playing at the nape clutching the hair spilling over his collar.
“You made me this way, Steve. And I don’t want you to stop.”
His now dark blue eyes searched yours as his fingers tightened on your waist.
“What does that mean, Peach?”
He’d pulled you closer, his eyes on your face as he waited for your answer. The anticipation was so much. He huffed and then dove into the curve of your neck, inhaling and tasting you there, as if he couldn’t help himself. His large hands palmed your breasts, pressing your nipples insistently.
“Oh…my….Steve!”
You squirmed in his grip.
“I asked you a question. Do I need to stop touching you so you can answer?”
“Please, no, Steve. Need you...”
You were the queen of changing the subject.
“Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
His lips were on the curve of your jaw, so close to your lips. You whined. He cocked his eyebrow, the question not so silent.
You huffed, making your decision to go for it as your hands came to the side of his face so that he knew your intentionality. You wanted to look into his eyes when you said it.
“Moment of honesty? I want you Steve. I feel…I want to be yours. Really been yours since you put your hands on me in Atlanta. I can’t categorize or control this feeling. So I’m giving in. Are you ready for the chaos that is me being yours?”
Steve’s eyes lit up and he reached for you, pulling you into his lap as his lips crashed into yours. His hands were everywhere. He tugged you closer as he kissed you and both hands came down to grab your ass and pull you onto his erection. His desire for you was apparent.
When you broke apart, you chased his lips and then kissed him again, greedy.
“I’ve been ready. Been yours for a while, now Peach. Since the day I saw you…”
His voice was gentle and he was looking at you like you were fine porcelain. You felt so safe in his arms. He pulled back to look you in the eye.
“And this feeling? This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be.”
He kissed you again and his mouth took possession of yours in a way that was tender, yet full of promise.
“I gotta let you know that if you’re mine, I’m gonna give you what you need. When you need it. Do you want that? Do you trust me with that?”
This was the important question.
“Yes, please. I want that, Mr. Rogers, sir. And I trust you.”
"That’s so fucking hot… but I’m trying to behave. Even though I reserved the pavilion just for us, we’re still in a public place,” he murmured.
His voice was calm, controlled. But those sea blue eyes told a different story.
"You call this behaving?"
You rolled your hips against his cock. Steve kissed you again and let out a sexy chuckle, then stood you both up, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
"If I wasn’t," he murmured, "you’d already be begging me for more."
You linked your arms around his neck and looked up at him as the cutest woman on earth.
“What if I don’t want you to behave? Like you said, you have the pavilion reserved. You can bend me over the bench and fuck me raw. Right here.”
Steve’s pupils took over his eyes and his jaw clenched. Your stomach dropped as he looked as if he was about to do just as you suggested. But he took a deep breath and smiled.
“We’ll explore that kink later. Our first time needs to be in private.”
Steve reached for your coat and helped you with it before putting his own on and gathering his things. He took your hand and led you out and across the grounds. He pointed to a familiar building.
“Your hotel is right there. Or do you want me to call Nico to take us to my place?”
You looked up at Steve as your breath vaporized in the cold air.
“We need my hotel. I’m ready. Right now.”
—--
You were in your room again, not entirely sure how you arrived, the journey through the park hurried and full of anticipation. You weren’t thinking too hard, you just knew you needed Steve. Immediately.
You were pushing his coat and blazer off his body and feeling his chest. The steady thrum of his pulse tapped a staccato in your palm.
“Your heart's beating so fast,” you whispered.
“You do that to me, Peach.”
“Really?” you questioned, suddenly unsure of yourself.
“You have no idea how much power you have, do you?”
“Me?” you asked in a small voice.
Steve nodded.
“You drive me crazy. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
It was confession time.
“It’s you that has the power, Steve. I can't stop thinking about you. Your voice gets me there.”
You felt tongue tied as you told him your raw feelings, all the while taking off your and his clothes.
“Sometimes I — I think I'm going to cum just from hearing you speak. Today, at NYU, I could hardly sit still. You're like a drug, pulling all my attention.”
Steve’s shirt was off now and you were in your bra; he pulled you near him to get his mouth on you.
“When I'm near you, I'm so hard it aches.”
“Really?” you whispered. “Are you aching right now?”
Steve groaned as you pulled back to unzip your skirt and take off your boots. He leaned back against the wall and palmed his crotch over his pants.
“Like you wouldn't believe.”
Steve couldn’t believe that he had you here like this, giving yourself to him. He had to tell you the truth.
“Look at me, Peach.”
You looked into his eyes.
“I’m In love with you.”
His rough voice pulled an involuntary sound from you.
“You're mine, Peach You always have been.
Your breath caught in your throat and your heart thudded against yor ribs.
“Oh god, Steve. I- I love you too.”
Your smile blinded him. If he blinked it was because of that. Not that he was going to cry.
Not at all.
He laughed as an expression of joy and then your lips met.
The kiss wasn't soft or sweet. This was feral, sharp, and intense. You moaned into his mouth, sucking his bottom lip into yours as he unhooked your bra.
“I fucking want you,” you whimpered into his mouth.
Steve smiled against your lips.
“Good, cause I fucking need you, my sweet Peach.”
Steve stood, looming over you, all big and fucking magnificent. The vision of him, all lithe muscles covered in smooth skin, and light feathering of hair making its way down his torso, between the defined planes of his abs and into his waistband, was… Good Lord.
You licked your lips, mouth instantly dry.
Steve’s mouth hooked up on one side as his fingers worked his belt and fly. His pants fell in a matter of seconds, and there he was, wearing nothing but black boxer briefs.
Steve was all thick thighs, and long, powerful legs, his hand slowly stroking himself over the sizable bulge in his underwear.
You gaped at him.
Then, he pulled his underwear down, eyes on your face for your reaction. It was classic, your mouth hinged open and your eyes were like saucers. There was no way anyone could be that perfect.
His dick was long and wide, at least eight or nine inches, and curved eloquently (if a dick could do that) against his abs. It was so pretty and your mouth watered for it at the same time your pussy clenched, as you were thinking he was correct. You would struggle to take him.
His smirked deepened as he reached for you and pulled your panties down slowly, his short fingernails scratching your legs and making you shiver.
For a moment he just stared, drinking in the sight of you spread before him
“Fucking sublime,” Steve breathed, the words filled with reverence.
“I’m gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby.”
He leaned over you and set about doing just that, kissing you deep and filthy, tongue diving to claim every inch of your mouth. You cried out, scratching at his broad shoulders as he suckled and nipped, worshiping your breasts until you were mindless with sensation.
Steve took his time tracing your torso with his lips, teeth and tongue, learning your body and paying attention to every sigh of pleasure as he climbed down your body.
The press of his mouth to your pussy made your back arch, and a ragged moan escape your mouth. Steve growled into you, the vibrations running through your soaked cunt.
He parted your pussy lips with his thumbs, and dove to lick your clit with the hot velvet of his tongue.
Slow, thorough licks made you writhe beneath him.
“That’s it,” he whispered, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Ride my face, Sweetheart. Fuck my mouth ‘til you cum all over it.”
You arched like a bow as he latched on to your clit and sucked, two thick fingers thrusting deep to stroke along your inner wall. His practiced fingers found your g-spot and massaged it ruthlessly, curling and scissoring until you sobbed his name.
“Love when you call my name, Peach.”
He looked at you like you were something to be worshipped, and then continued what he was doing. When Steve bit down gently on your clit, your orgasm crashed over you in a burst of white light.
You shuddered through the aftershocks, trembling as Steve lapped at your folds. Each lick sent a jolt of electricity through you, on the edge of too much.
Rising to his knees, the thick, heavy length of him rose up again, even more swollen and glistening at the tip.
Steve notched the thick head of his cock at your entrance and his eyes crossed as he slowly sank into your tight, dripping heat.
“Fuck, you feel so good.”
Inch after thick inch, he claimed you, stretched you, with a delicious push/pull of pleasure/pain. His length was one thing, but his girth was everything.
When he bottomed out, you both groaned at the intensity of the connection. He looked you in your eyes as your hearts pounded in sync, your breaths mingling as you got used to his size.
“I’ve never felt so full, Stevie…”
You quivered in his arms. And he knew that he was utterly possessed by you. It was more than just physical; it was an overwhelming sense of rightness.
“Perfect,” Steve rasped.
“So fuckin’ perfect, sweetheart. Like you were made for me.”
He dropped his head and trailed open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, pausing to suck hard at your pulse point.
“Please,” you whimpered, the ache between your thighs growing unbearable. “Move.”
“As you wish.” he whispered, brows knitted together.
You whimpered and your hands grasped the sheets as he started to move. He bent and sucked your nipple hard, causing a jolt of electricity through your body. Your brain was cloudy and you scratched his back as your eyes shuttered closed.
“Open your eyes, Peach,” Steve ordered darkly.
As he looked you in your beautiful eyes, Steve couldn’t hold back any longer. He started increasing his pace until he was fucking you roughly, pushing your knees to your chest.
“Yes.. feels so good Steve. Oh my godddddd, fuck me!”
Steve’s eyes roamed your body as he did as you asked. Your beautiful breasts bounced. The bed knocked against the wall and you gasped for breath, your face transfixed on the eye contact between you and Steve.
He was lost, one hand gripped your hair, and the other braced on the headboard. He fucked you hard, grinding against your clit with every stroke.
You were whimpering, on the verge of screaming as you two made noise up and down the hotel hallway.
He leaned up and grasped your throat, gritting his teeth as he asked a question.
“You want me to cum inside you? You trying to have my baby?”
“Unnnnnnghhhh! Maybe….”
You opened your eyes and pouted up at him.
“Paint my walls, Steve...”
Steve choked on air as he spurted hot cum into your welcoming pussy, but he pulled out, shooting the last jet of cum on your clit and pussy lips. Then, like a heathen, he bent between your thighs and started licking.
You sobbed, writhing as he devoured you.
“Need to eat you more than anything, my sweet, sweet Peach.
“Steve, Stevie… oh my god!”
You clutched his hair, tugging sharply. It was too much.
“Oh my God. Please Steveeeee!”
He raised his head, grinning as you fully collapsed, limp and spent. Your pussy was tender, your face flushed, your eyes gleaming.
You were beautiful.
You looked at him and shook your head as he took you in his arms.
“Are you mine?”
“Yes,” you whimpered out.
“I would die for you, Y/N L/N,” Steve murmured against your temple, panting. He held you tight, carding his fingers in your hair.
“I promise to keep you safe, and give you everything you need, I promise you that.”
“I believe you, Steve. I trust that.”
—
You and Steve stayed up late, ordered room service and talked about a lot of things, music, your parents, his friendship with Bucky, Nat, and Steve, everything.
You laughed and cried, and then settled back in his arms in the dark to sleep, his hand rubbing your hip as his breathing began to slow.
“Steve, can I ask you a question?”
It had been nagging at you for a while.
His sleepy voice answered you.
“Shoot.”
You chuckled.
“That’s just it. Have you ever… have you ever killed someone?”
Steve stirred, pulling you closer to him and moving his mouth next to your ear.
“Hmmmmm. I’d have to marry you before I answered that question.”
Your heart slammed against your chest and your eyes went wide in the dark.
“What?”
You tried to keep your voice even. You didn’t know what this feeling was that came over you. Steve continued, seemingly calm and not spiraling like you were.
“You can’t be compelled to testify against your spouse. It was a joke, Peach.”
You were silent for a good while.
“Oh.”
Steve stirred, leaning up against his elbow.
“Do you… are you saying that you want to get married?”
Steve thought about the ring that he had at his penthouse.
You laughed.
“Nah… what we looking like just up and getting married like that? We hardly know each other.”
“True. But when you know, you know.”
Steve kissed you and the small amount of logic in your brain was rapidly dissipating.
“Would it make us look crazy…?”
You could sense Steve’s smile in the dark.
“…Or would it be so beautiful?” He replied.
Steve wrapped you up in his arms and settled down again. Your mind spun as his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm and you spoke again.
He was probably asleep, but you had to get it out.
“If you ask me, I’m ready…”
The light switched on and you were staring into the beautiful blue eyes of Steve Rogers.
——
I’m so anxious about this one! Please let me know how you feel? Reblog, comment, like. TIA!
#knock you down fic#this is the right one#steve rogers#peach fic#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers smut#steve rogers x you#mob boss! steve rogers#chris evans#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#sebastian stan#mob boss!bucky Barnes
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
terrible things
pairing: max verstappen x reader
summary: people like to say love is a static thing-it sparks at first sight and never fizzes out. but maybe it just takes on a different feeling, quite like the ever-changing colors of a flame.
a/n: new month new ending! this is the last part to the number one girl series. hope you enjoy <3
part one / part two / part three
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by 703,924 others
f1gossipofficial: Max Verstappen was spotted walking Y/N L/N to dinner from electric lady studios! Two things are on our mind: new music and an old flame.
tagged: yourinstagram, maxverstappen
view all 53,681 comments
user1: i feel like this is going to get messy real quick..
user2: MY YNMAX HEART 🥺 ARE THEY FINALLY TOGETHER
user3: hello? what about lewis FREAKING hamilton?
user4: not y/n in her homewrecker era
user5: woah woah she was there WAY before kelly user6: kelly and max announced their split months ago user7: ikr how are people defending her
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
@/charmschoolgirl She is definitely releasing new music. So happy! I hope the Grammy's don't snub her this year.
@/its2ayem freak bro 😭 she just said that her and lewis have never agreed to anything beyond friends & he is one of her closest friends
@/genericuser5 who is this diva 💜
@/bananas I lowk felt bad when the interviewer asked about Max. You could like...see it on her face. How she didn't want to talk about it.
@/charlesdannate but!! she said they were on talking terms again!! and they'd reconciled and also that photo of them leaving els!!!!!!! YN LOVE SONG ABOUT MAX?
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by lando, jennierubyjane and 3,910,514 others
yourinstagram: TOO MUCH TO LOSE / FEB 2
view all 702,193 comments
francolapinto: mother 🛐
user1: oh next year is going to be HELL for him user2: @/lewishamilton @/maxverstappen idek which one of you she's dating but DO SOMETHING yourinstagram: oh franco...don't you think i'm a bit too old for you? user3: @/yourinstagram y/n bae he dated a mother of like 3 kids or something age is nothing LMAOAOAO user4: franco's mommy kink allegations r never going away
user5: red is SO your color!!
user6: i love how even her looks r maturing? like on burnout it was all schoolgirl, teen, naive and this album is SERVING.
luxurylaw: pleasure to style you !!
yourinstagram: nono it was MY honor
user7: time to wager. is this a baddie (i eat men) album or a breakup (???) album
user8: well she's all cozy w max now so maybe something happened with lewis? user9: @/user8 WHYYY I LOVED THEM TOGETHER
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
r/popheads · 1 wk. ago jammies_on_all_night
Y/N L/N - TOO MUCH TO LOSE [MEGATHREAD]
This megathread is to be used for discussion regarding Y/N L/N's second album, as well as articles and reviews of the album. The album, Too Much to Lose, comes out at midnight in PST.
Please keep all reviews to the megathread - I will attempt to keep the post updated with reviews, please feel free to DM me if I've missed any.
Links to any leaks, as well as asking for any, will not be allowed in this megathread.
Album Links:
Spotify
Apple Music
TIDAL
Amazon Music
Tracklist:
we can't be friends (wait for your love)
prelude in e minor
cornerstone
tis the damn season
i love you, i'm sorry
heavenly
terrible things
don't look back in anger
This thread will be updated with important links for release day events, reviews of the album, etc.
ynsgirlfriend: I was expecting another pop-y album but this was so much more heartfelt. WCBF eats so hard. SO HARD.
↳ dannyric03: Love her growth. Also, the way the album goes from distancing herself (we can't be friends, duh) until the time is right and finding so much beauty in what time you have (terrible things). I don't even want to speculate who the album is about. It's...beautiful. ↳ User5: calling it rn. wcbf (wfyl) is going to be a smash hit on the radio
CharliesPrelude2: literally came up w my user after charlie's prelude (based off of chopin's prelude in e minor) SO Y/N ACKNOWLEDGED ME
↳ SalsaBird: LOL. Loved her on that track. Didn't expect them but they were haunting. Honestly, I'm surprised at how insane her vocals are.
Sharks1039: Trying to decode this. bear with me. [1/2] 1. we can't be friends (wait for your love) - i feel like this is pretty obviously about max. not exactly, bcs i think we've garnered it was y/n who left him first after THAT night (thanks burnout!!) but the fact that she's learning to live without him. even though she still wishes they could be friends. just my interpretation. 2. prelude in e minor - i don't know. it's beautiful. it's chopin. it's y/n. it's just there and a good transition into the rest of the album? it really cleared up my mind and helped me appreciate the other songs. 3. cornerstone - seeing that person in every place. "thought i saw you at the X, but it was only a lookalike." idk who's perspective this is supposed to be from. the message is imo such longing you look for it everywhere. 4. tis the damn season - i feel like the lyrics point toward max (hometown, etc.) but i also feel like we've never really seen anything in the last 4 years indicating a reunion like that. after we stopped seeing her and lewis (we saw them SM last year) i thought something might've gone wrong? i'm p sure they're still on friendly terms, they comment on each other's posts, etc. but less close. maybe some regret from her side?
↳ ApplestoApples: I KNEW I wasn't the only one who thought "tis the damn season" gave Lewis. They hinted at a sort of romance. Especially when Lewis visited Y/N in her hometown (they took a few pictures with fans who'd spotted them). "It always leads to you, in my hometown" is probably about her thinking a lot about that. Sad they didn't work out. Loved how well he treated her and how happy they seemed. ↳ Sharks1039: @/ApplestoApples how did i not know that. omfg it's so about lewis. ↳ Shakes1039: anyway part two of my yap. [2/2] 5. i love you i'm sorry - "you were the best but you were the worst, as sick as it sounds i loved you first" ??? i don't even know what this means but damn girl i hope you're ok now. 6. heavenly - this is such a love song. lowkey found it a TINY bit jarring when we went from ilyis to heavenly but it's more like. i love you (im sorry) to i love you (i'm not)? that's the only explanation i can think of. banger, though. 7. terrible things - MY FAVORITE SONG. ALSO SHOULD BE YOURS. "i can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me" hello. i bawled hearing this. i'm so glad she's found love because it seemed like the max thing shook her up so bad. "don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose ... i beg you to choose to walk away" oh my god. she still sounds pretty worried about how strong love is and how losing a loved one will hurt... 8. don't look back in anger - oasis cover. live. i feel like given the previous song (terrible things) it's like when you walk away to protect yourself from love, don't look back in anger. and at the end of the day, i think this is an album about max. some people talk about how she has growth through the album but honestly idrk about that. it's just her coming to terms with her actions. it's an album about being in love and all the bad things that happen when you're in love. it's an album about deciding to walk away to not hurt yourself. but at the end of the day, people are overcoming that desire to protect themselves. they want to love, even if it hurts.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by lewishamilton and 1,203,864 others
yourinstagram: hello everyone! happy valentine's ♡ i just wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for the support you have shown my music. everyone says this, but the songs i put out are pieces of my heart. they are lessons i have learned and stories i want to tell. some of you have already figured this out, but a little piece of advice:
don't be afraid to love. there are much more terrible things to experience.
view all 291,473 comments
yourinstagram: i mean don't be afraid to love in reasonable circumstances!! 😭 don't be afraid to love if people discourage it, if your heart truly wants it. pls be afraid to love if you're being forced against your will. love you all so much, take care and make good decisions!
user1: she's so real for freaking out over misinterpretation user2: sorry ma'am reading fics of your man as a mafia boss has stopped me from mafia reasonable decisions
lewishamilton: happy valentine's, y/n
yourinstagram: hope the grapes did something for you user3: roman empire unlocked. user4: omfg 😭 not the grapes
user5: hold up. why is no one talking about that photo. it's not in any of her music videos?? she's in that dress in the dlbia live performance but WHEN WAS IT TAKEN
user6: i bet it's max. user7: it's totally max. user8: RELATIONSHIP UPDATE PLS @/yourinstagram
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by yourinstagram and 5,019,432 others
maxverstappen: Home is where the heart is.
tagged: yourinstagram
view all 715,893 comments
user1: HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH
user2: it's real omg!!
user3: haven't seen y/n in ages THANK U FOR THE CRUMBS MAX
user4: the way he looks at her...
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
liked by 732,891 others
f1gossipofficial: Max Verstappen spotted crying after last Dutch GP. All our hearts are equally as heavy.
view all 13,405 comments
user1: poor man. last year of zandvoort. i'll miss it too
user2: i'm sure y/n will cheer him up! missed seeing her at the last few races
user3: omg what if she's pregnant... user4: girl 😭 i like to think max would've learned from kelly and put a ring on her BEFORE the baby user5: @/user3 yea the last photo we saw of her was like months ago and she was wearing a fur around her waist so we couldn't see much
user5: rip dutch gp.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
maxverstappen: Life can do terrible things. But you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
tagged: yourinstagram
Comments on this post have been limited.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
BREAKING: Max Verstappen has retired from racing. He has reportedly moved back to the Netherlands with remaining family.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
INTERVIEW WITH HUGH L/N-VERSTAPPEN
...
INTERVIEWER: Moving on, congratulations on the Best Actor award!
HUGH gives the interviewer a shy smile. He takes a sip of the coffee in his hands: Thanks. I was so surprised. I didn't think people enjoyed my performance that much.
INTERVIEWER: Well I guess you were proven wrong. How do you feel about following in your mother's footsteps, instead of racing like your father?
HUGH pauses before speaking: I suppose...I sometimes wonder if I would be suited for it. If I could've done more. At the end of the day, acting feels like keeping my mother's legacy. Many people remember her as my dad's wife, or just a songwriter. She went into acting because she loved it. I just wish she was more recognized for it.
[ There is a moment of silence as Hugh plays with the cup in his hands. ]
INTERVIEWER: I know your acceptance speech brought quite a few people to tears. It was very moving.
HUGH nods: I didn't mean to. I just wanted to thank my mom one more time. And my dad, too.
INTERVIEWER: It was a good kind of tears, I'm sure.
HUGH laughs.
INTERVIEWER: Which of your mother's songs is your favorite?
HUGH: Well, my dad used to try singing "terrible things" to me. He's not a great singer, so emphasis on the try.
INTERVIEWER: If I'm not wrong, the song does say "now son, I'm only telling you this because life does terrible things." Is it like a message to you?
HUGH: Yeah. I know the song is about how hard love is and how painful it is. But she did it anyway. What's my excuse? Life is short and there's so much to experience.
INTERVIEWER is handed a note. THEIR eyebrows furrow, looking at HUGH: Sorry, would you be comfortable answering a question about your dad? I know you only agreed to talking about Y/N. We can cut this part out if you mind.
HUGH shakes his head: No, it's quite alright. What was the question?
INTERVIEWER: Well, your father hasn't made any public appearances save for your Academy Award win. It's been many years...would he like to pass on a message?
HUGH: Oh, my dad loves to talk. Let me think. He's old, you know that. I think he enjoys the quiet life. He wouldn't survive in an F1 car nowadays, but he still enjoys driving.
[ HUGH thinks. The INTERVIEWER doesn't prompt him. ]
HUGH smiles to himself: I don't think he'll be showing up at any of my future premieres. Don't expect that. It's been a while, yeah. But he's happy with his years. He said he's close to seeing her again.
INTERVIEWER only nods. There are tears in both their eyes.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
a/n: it's over! lowk felt bad for the ending. but i think i like it this way. sorry ynlewis stans. i just think. at the end of the day they would find their way back to each other.
#formula one#max verstappen x reader#formula one x reader#f1#f1 x you#max verstappen#f1 smau#smau#x reader#oikarma ᯓᡣ𐭩
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
Show Must Go On | Kang Dae-sung
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7ffb4f1f302766ae7b77689c8c917374/a45dc00ae8dca404-98/s540x810/120e86a67b148a25cc63b764b16ec5d830143cf2.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bf0c2a1d905f326330b5f86f5eee8d4c/a45dc00ae8dca404-f4/s540x810/07ffe094a79420b555b0f5f9eae52c55898977b6.jpg)
Summary: You and Daesung both have feelings for each other but are too stubborn to admit it. When your boss decides that a PR relationship is best for business you both worry that you're feelings might come out. What could go wrong?
Warnings: None.
Author's Note: This is my first time writing for our angel baby, Daesung. Please let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list.
Daesung had been one of the first people you’d met when you had started coming up in the industry. With both of you becoming famous around the same time, you’d grown close rather quickly. You’d spent a lot of time with him and his band over the years, so much so that you all went hand in hand at this point. People didn’t think of them without thinking of you and vice versa. It was daunting sometimes being talked about in the same circles, but you loved your friends too much to ever distance yourself from them.
That however, didn’t stop you from being shocked when you walked into your bosses office to see Daesung there. “Dae? What are you doing here?” He shrugged and you raised a brow at your boss as you sat down. It had been a long time since you two had been called into the office together. In fact, the last time had been when you were a lot longer and were being scolded for doing something wrong on a variety show. You wracked your brain trying to think of something, anything you’d done wrong recently as your boss began to speak. “It’s a weird time for the industry and with you two still being single we think it’s best if you do a PR relationship. At least for a bit.” You blinked, having missed all but the end of the conversation. “What? That’s ridiculous. Nobody cares that we’re single.” Daesung nodded in agreement.
“It’s perfect timing, Daesung is doing reunion shows with BigBang, you’ve got your new album coming out. It’s a win-win if you promote each other and attend all these events together. You guys have a staged photo shoot in an hour for the hard launch.” You looked at Dae who rolled his eyes before looking back at your boss. “And we have to do this?” His voice was soft and you raised a brow, wondering why he wasn’t fighting back as hard as you were. “Yes.” Your boss leaned over, handing you both a timeline of the relationship. You snatched it from his hands before standing up to leave the room.
As soon as you were outside the room a hand was on your arm, you looked up into the concerned eyes of your best friend, “Are you ok?” Your expression softened at his worry and you let out a sigh, “Yeah, I’m just annoyed that we have to do this.” He cocked his head to the side, dropping your arm and folding them across his chest. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s not like we’re not going to take this stupid schedule and make it fun.” It was a big deal, though. Over the last few months you’d started to feel things that you shouldn’t for your best friend. You weren’t so sure you could handle fake dating your best friend while you were navigating your own feelings for him. “Yeah, okay. I know we’ll make it fun, it’s just silly that they think anyone would care about this.”
—
A week had passed since the pictures of you being caught on a date had appeared online and you were eating your words. Fans from all over the world were obsessed that the two of you were dating. You were knee deep in instagram comments over a photo of your and Daesung’s hands. It was kind of funny how they could find a way the fans were playing detective over every post and story the two of you would put up. You didn’t even have to be in each other's stories for them to assume you were together.
The agreement had been that you’d be caught out, being a little too friendly but wouldn’t confirm anything yet. This week was a week of soft launching without tagging each other, no faces, nothing just to gauge the reaction. Tonight was the big show. You two had dinner with Jiyong and Youngbae and a couple people from both of your teams, something you all did frequently but after the dinner you and Daesung would get caught kissing.
You were a nervous wreck at the thought of it. Just being around him like this the past week had you on edge. Careful not to linger too much when holding hands, or to not look at him too long when walking down the street. It was one thing for the fans to see you smitten, it was another for him to realize just how much you weren’t acting. You were so busy trying to play it cool that you didn’t realize the way his touch lingered or the fact that he never wanted to be the one to leave first. You were fighting so hard to convince yourself that there were no real feelings there that you were missing the probability that he was in love with you and afraid to admit it too.
A knock at your door broke your thoughts and you grabbed your bag. Checking yourself over one final time before plastering a big smile on your face to hide the nerves, “You ready?” Dae greeted you and you nodded. “As I’ll ever be.” You held your hand out for him to take and he laced your fingers together, your heart pounding in your chest just from holding his hand. This man was going to drive you crazy and he didn’t even know it. As if picking up on your nerves, Daesung gave your hand a gentle squeeze as he led the way to the restaurant.
As expected the paparazzi was out, following you and your security down the street. Thankfully you only lived a couple blocks from dinner so the walk wasn’t too sketchy with your team by your side. As Daesung opened the door to the restaurant you leaned up to plant a kiss on his cheek, his cheeks flushing at the touch. That was unscripted and you cursed to yourself as you let go of his hand to make your way inside. Thankfully, everyone else was already there and the cameras weren’t allowed inside. You only had to keep up appearances in case anyone got a shot of you through the window, but you didn’t have to act in front of your friends.
“I guess I just don’t understand why you two have to be here for the kiss, it’s embarrassing.” You complained as dinner was coming to an end. Daesung's eyes flashed with a hint of hurt before covering it up with a nod his grip tightening on your leg. You didn’t see how much it was killing him, being so close to you and you shutting him down every chance you got. He should’ve told you how he felt, and now he was starting to chicken out. “I think it’s so the world can see that we support you both.” Jiyong looked between you too as you spoke. “It’s a big deal for the Hyung to approve of his girlfriend.” He sat back smugly in his seat and you rolled your eyes at him, knowing he didn’t take that title seriously anymore.
As you went to stand once the meal was over, Daesung kept his arm on your leg, causing you to stay seated. “We don’t have to do this, if it’s going to make you uncomfortable.” You thought maybe you were imaging things but he seemed sad as he spoke to you and you frowned, your eyes locking on him. Daesung wanted to make sure you were comfortable before anything else was to happen. He didn’t care about schedules or contracts or their boss, he only cared about you. “I’m not uncomfortable, never with you, it’s just weird, you know?” You were projecting, nothing about kissing this man was going to be weird. You were nervous that you wouldn’t be able to hide your feelings and ruin your whole friendship, but you had to do this. “Come on, once this is over we can go back to my place and watch everyone freak out in real time, it’ll be fun.” He nodded, standing up and taking your hand in his again before leading you outside.
You spotted the cameras hungry for attention, it was show time. Hugs were exchanged between you and the guys and as Daesung pulled you towards your street you leaned up, your mouth brushing his slightly. As his lips met yours, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest, and just as you were about to pull away, Daesung’s arm wound around your back pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. He had one shot to let you know how felt, and he poured all his emotions into that kiss, hoping maybe now you’d realize how he felt about him.
You got lost in the moment, your heart doing somersaults as you kissed your best friend. Jiyong cleared his throat behind you, causing you both to freeze. “Camera’s left a bit ago.” Your eyes popped open and you turned slowly, taking in the scene. It was just the four of you and your various security standing awkwardly around you. “Right. Well, we’re going to go.” Youngbae waved and the two of them took off down the street.
When you turned back around Daesung was looking at you, his expression soft. “So I guess that happened?” He chuckled his hand finding its way to yours as he faced you fully. “Kind of like you a lot more than just as a friend these days.” His eyes were wide searching yours for any clue that you felt the same and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, your hand moving to cup his cheek. “Kind of feel the same about you. That’s why I was so nervous about this whole fake dating thing. I didn’t think you felt the same and I didn’t want you to realize that I’m stupid crazy about you.”
He grinned, his eyes closing into those perfect half moons that you loved so much and it felt like a weight had been lifted off both your shoulders. “Starting to think this was a setup to get us to both stop being so stubborn.” He made a face, looking around as if someone was going to pop out and tell him he was right at any moment. “I’m glad though, I was too scared to tell you how I felt, and I knew today was my only shot to really show you how I felt. I think maybe we rip up that stupid contract and give dating for real a real shot.” You nodded your head at his words, leaning up to kiss him again. “Come on, let’s get you home so we can have some privacy.” He pecked your lips a couple more times before leading you down the street. Both of you making a mental note to thank your boss and everyone else who’d been involved in setting this up for getting you to realize that you two were crazy about each other.
tag list: @wcnderlnds @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @infinetlyforgotten @mirahyun
#daesung x reader#kang daesung x reader#kang dae sung x reader#bigbang x reader#my fics#smgo#divider by cafekitsune
62 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, Pia! A year ago I discovered you through the Mysterious Skin fanfic, which truthfully has helped me in so many emotional layers till this day (and always will). After that read, I jumped on your profile and was blown away by the world you have created with your own hands. You really inspired me to publish my first fic in AO3 recently (for a random fandom), but sadly I've been having a hard time with it.
At the beginning I was relieved that fear didn't stop me anymore, but then it happened again, it came back, in another form, hitting me harder. I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations and when I read one of those I think: "This is perfect, I could never achieve this level, I don't have this voice, I should just delete mine, I don't have nothing to say, I can't make people feel this way" and I hate to have those feelings because I think it breaks down the true meaning of writing in general (to help people, to connect, to make a tribute, to have an emotional journey), but at this point I have lost my mind. My dream was always to be a writer, but I left it behind for so many reasons, now I thought things were changing inside me, but I guess it's not the case, I can't even deal with a fanfic...
I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before. How did you start writing? How has it been for you? How do you deal with these things? Feel free to answer me only if you're comfortable with that, I don't wanna put pressure on you as if you were my spiritual guide, but, for all the thoughts and things you share here, I think you are a wise person.
Sorry for the long text, I don't have people in real life to talk to about these issues. I'm really grateful to you already because of your story, it's always in my heart, it's part of me. Btw, I hope you are doing well, keep the amazing work. ❤️
PS: Sorry for the mistakes, not a native English speaker here.
Hi anon,
Congrats on posting your first fic! That's really huge. Even if it does open us up to The Insecurities, it's still a massive thing to do in the first place and I'm so happy for you.
As to everything else, oomf, let's get into it.
So the first thing is there is no writer out there who doesn't get assailed - literally assailed - by insecurities and massive feelings of self-doubt or even self-hatred over their writing (if there is, I haven't met them).
There's no point in writing at which they stop, and if you overcome some, new ones come in their place. I think that's just the nature of the beast - both wanting to (ideally) please at least some of our readers, and also offer something decent to read.
It can help to realise this is a normal part of writing and the experience. Obviously at its most severe, it might require therapy support, or professional support of some kind, but getting assailed by The Insecurities is part of being a creative person.
I don't know how to explain myself, it's just that I think I'm not good enough, that there are better stories with better characterisations
So yeah, this is true. Hear me out! This is true for me too. This is true for every writer that exists. Even the ones who win Pulitzers. This is going to sound blunt, but this is true for every story in the world. I know when I post my works that there are better stories with better characterisations out there. And there are stories that I consider perfect to me. But this last part is really important! I don't get to determine what's perfect for everyone. I'm not allowed to make that choice for them. And also people don't read in order to find The Most Perfect Story Ever, they read for many many many reasons, and that one often isn't even on the list! That's just on our list, when we feel beset by The Insecurities.
Like, yes, better stories exist. That's very subjective. They're better to you, they might not be better to some of the readers who read your work, and unless your only goal in writing is to be 'the best ever' (this is not a great goal imho because it's unattainable) sometimes a simple 'oh...yeah I mean it's true there are better stories according to me, but that doesn't mean that people won't enjoy mine, or that people won't think my stories aren't the best, and I'm not even writing to be the best in the world, so I don't know why I'm listening to this because it's not even what my values are in writing.'
But I also need to make it clear that your insecurities will never leave you 100%. They find new ways to come back, and they do keep coming back. We get periods free of the worst of it, often have low-key doubts in the background fairly frequently, and sometimes feel really good about writing. That's...writing. You haven't done anything wrong in your writing or in yourself when you have new insecurities coming in, and you've acknowledged yourself that things have already changed, because these are new or different insecurities. Think of it like an upward spiral, you circle back to feeling insecure, you have to if you want to keep going up.
You won't stay there forever, but the circling is part of the process. It can help to remind yourself of some cognitively true facts - what you think is perfect in writing is someone else's 'worst story ever' if they read it. What you love to read is not necessarily what you end up writing, and that doesn't mean it can't be someone's favourite story. And yeah, someone has already done something better by our standards, because I don't think there's any point on this journey where we go 'that's it, I've done it, I've become the best writer ever, insecurities begone!!!' (It would be nice, but it's not how it works).
So when insecurities come back it's not 'oh god I've failed at writing and/or keeping the insecurities away' it's - this is normal. You can go 'oh I'm being a regular writer right now, in the hard part of it.' I know this. It sucks. It probably means I need a break when it gets really bad, and I need to recharge a bit. I can keep improving, and my writing doesn't have to be anything other than entertaining. I've pretty much struck perfect from my vocabulary. It's too subjective.
I just wonder if you have ever feel this way before.
Anon, about twice a year I feel so bad about my writing I become convinced that the only answer is to delete all of it off my AO3 accounts. And on a regular basis I go between what I consider fairly normal insecurities (is that closing okay / is this arc good / will people like this character / have I pushed this too far / oh god my engagement is down am I terrible at writing), to pretty intense ones (idk why I do this nothing I write is good / how have I convinced these amazing people that this is worth their time / I wish I could write like (insert X author here) instead of this absolute mid shit etc.)
It helps me a lot to know that some of it is mental illness, but most of it is actually just normal. I'm a writer who wants my readers to have a good time and who wants to write something I can be proud of, and sometimes my brain won't let me feel proud of anything I've done because I made it, and sometimes I don't like myself very much. It means I should work on liking myself more. It doesn't mean I should stop writing.
I started writing as a kid, to cope with fairly awful life circumstances at home. So I was lucky that insecurities didn't matter because no one was seeing my writing except for me, I already hated myself (because people who were supposed to care for me, hated me - there's a reason I write the stories I do!) and I was literally trying to survive something that some people don't survive.
When I started sharing my writing, The Insecurities came. And...idk, I learned how to recognise it as a normal part of the process. It took a long, long time. It's normal to feel like there's something unique about how much we suffer over not liking our writing or feeling like it's bad, that the insecurities say something really true about our writing or even our integrity as a person.
Most of the time they say nothing at all except about the state of our mental health and how tired we are. For example, it's more normal for artists and writers to hate what they create during times of government unrest, or increased oppression, or in abusive households, because it's a way to redirect a lot of very unpleasant feelings to something we think we can control.
Sometimes it just happens because we're tired and the wave crashes over the dam we have in place that says 'go away insecurities.' Like you'd be amazed how much food, staying hydrated, getting good sleep / having good sleep hygiene can actually keep the worst of The Insecurities at bay.
Sometimes we need a break! Too much of a good thing in writing can lead to our brain trying to tell us we're terrible at it so we'll just walk away and watch some movies for a bit! The best way to prevent that is to take a break before we get there.
The good news is, you're a writer feeling something very normal for us writers. The bad news is that it feels bad. It can help to step back a bit, and also to join some writer's groups online maybe, ones that focus on support and lifting people up.
I wish I could say you one day hit a point where the insecurities never come back, but if anything, I don't think you can do these sorts of crafts without them. At their extremes they're not good for us, but the extremes of anything aren't good for us. You're not alone, I promise. The worst you've felt about your writing, is the worst many people have felt about their writing. It's just...often such a lonely process and many writers don't talk about it, but it's there, and it won't last. It's part of the spiral. Over time, you might find it easier when you know it's normal, and temporary, but frankly, there are times it's just really, really hard.
You will move past this, and then one day you'll touch on this again, and then you'll move past it again. Sometimes we spend longer in it than we wanted to, sometimes we need to take a longer break than we meant to, sometimes we write more than was good for us with how tired we were at the time.
It's not perfect, it's not supposed to be perfect, but it is part of the journey, it just means you're a writer like the rest of us writers, anon. I hope you can find your way back into writing more soon! And I hope you can be compassionate towards yourself. You put yourself out there, and have been writing, and honestly that's fucking amazing. I think you're awesome.
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on fanfiction#the whole insecurities thing is rough#but it is incredibly just dslkfjsad something we all go through#your favourite authors have sat there staring at their writing like#'should i just quit why would anyone ever read this'#they have stared at other authors they admire#and felt two feet tall in comparison#they have wanted to entertain the people who read their writing#and they have worried about how best to do that#and they have thought about quitting#and they have hurt themselves with their insecurities#while learning how to cope with them#being a creator in any of the arts is that combo of having to be self-critical to improve#and that often overspilling into self-condemnation and self-hatred and profound insecurity#time and practice can help#but ultimately the journey is a spiral#which means we always come back to the insecurities#and we always go forward to more good times#but you can take a break from the spiral too#writing is hard
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiiiii I saw your post where you said that you wrote 400 words of the red bull george au. First of all, yayyyyyyyyy that’s amazing. I am very happy for you :) every word counts and the fact that you wrote 400 of it is truly great. I am so invested in the story and can’t wait for it (not pressuring you in anyway to release it soon. I’ll happily wait for it because i know the wait will be worth it)
I wanted to ask something if you don’t mind. You don’t have to answer of you think it’s big of a spoiler or it’s something you would like to keep a secret. I understand. First question: Would the fans eventually learn about George and Lewis’ relationship and that they are together? Second question: Will Susie and Toto be like George’s non official adopted parents? I live for those dynamics where Susie and Toto practically adopt George.
Another one I waited a year and a half on I’m so sorry whoever sent this—
Honestly I’ve basically plotted the majority of the story onto tumblr already so it’s legitimately hard to find spoilers, but I do intend for the fic to mostly wrap up either directly after January 2022 or mostly thereabouts, because I’m hesitant to dive too far into the 22 season because it would end up drastically different from reality and honestly I think what made the original au so easy to plot is the developments of the 2021 season make it really easy to tie plot points to— with the strong exception that without Perez in the Red Bull, Max has no chance for Masi to cheat and hand him a win in Abu Dhabi. Because in fic I refuse to allow that reality.
Going Public
If George and Lewis were to ever come out as together in that universe, it would be long, long after the end of that story. Honestly it would likely come some point after Lewis’ retirement, I doubt even the most trusted would know about the extent of it with very few exceptions like MAYBE Bono or Shov. Perhaps Toto years down the line.
Part of it is really because the shape of their Relationship in the Red Bull au is so massively different to what we normally approach on fanfic- they spend a good 6 months fighting and antagonising each other, and the next 4 months barely speaking because George is deep in his own hell. Lewis and George basically go from on top of each other every weekend to cold turkey from the summer break through to Abu Dhabi, It’s a rocky start to any relationship, even without adding the hell George is personally going through joining a new team and building what little trust he had from the ground up, and Lewis trying to balance looking after himself and trying to figure out how the hell to look after George or if George even wants that.
It’s a rough first year or two is what I’m saying. The last thing they would want is anyone finding out what’s going on between them, and how that would effect their lives or reputations— they’re already facing weekly prying by the media to see if they’re trying to kill each other yet— but it’s better than when people question if they’re too close, and queries about if George was ever loyal to Red Bull or if he was a plant start flying. People find pictures of young George chasing Lewis for autographs, it’s not hard for accusations to grow, and Horner or Marko would waste no time lying about it if they could bring George down a peg further.
So among that, their relationship is kept as wrapped tight as possible. George moves to Monaco like all f1 drivers do, so it’s easier for them to meet quietly without anyone seeing, but they don’t really go out together for anything more than dinners around the globe as teammates in restaurants that know how to be discreet. They’re not a naturally affectionate pair, it’s not hard to act like they’re just friends in public— RB George is about 5 times as neurotic as canon George and isn’t really chill and goofy, spending your formative years being micromanaged by assholes and then getting a brutal public reality check will do that— so it’s not something they find especially hard to maintain for a few years, it’s only when they’ve been at it a while that Lewis starts to get nagging feelings that it would be nice to be able to sit by George at pool sides when he’s tanning, or go running together, or get George a little drunk in a club so he could see that rare affectionate side. But he also keeps that to himself since George still seems antsy about it, and even years out from his move, George finds it hard to shake the media linking to his past as a bull. It’s hard enough being the man who publically fell out of his team into another one. Being the first Gay f1 drivers would be a lot to add to that, without adding accusations George slept his way into his seat.
But I think, quite a few years down the line when George is creeping up over 30, and Lewis into his mid 40’s, they might get quietly married. They’re not really interested in being in the centre of a big event like that, especially as Lewis expands further on his brands outside of F1 and George chases championships at his side, they have a lot going on. It’s a paperwork thing, but they still don’t tell many people.
It’s only when Lewis has fully retired, and George wins his second Championship that they might quietly let things build. A congratulatory instagram post from Lewis that leans a little into fond, George’s reply’s back that seems just as affectionate. Fans chalk it up to a good teammate relationship until George shows up with Lewis at an event for one of his charities, and more questions swirl about how they ended up so close. They’d probably end up dropping it on everyone in some end of year socials post years after they got married, something about celebrating an anniversary together. They don’t specify which. They’d probably be annoyingly short about the whole thing, tell people as little as possible about how it happened until they’re both retired. It’s such a big story as it is they don’t really need to complicate people’s shouting by adding confusion about timelines and team politics. If George is asked about it while racing, he’d probably say he’s no different than before, it’s just now people know about it. If people tried to pry, he’d shrug and tease them to wait for a future book about it. There probably would be a book some day tbh.
It’s a weird one- I genuinely go back and forth on if they would ever willingly tell anyone, as much as I’ve described this scenario here, I think they’re an equal chance they would just tell absolutely no one until they’re both retired, only to drop it one day with little to no explanation and tell the world that’s all they need to know. They’re both progressively minded and would want to use themselves to further acceptance in their sport, but RB George is so dictated by the trauma he goes through, and that has echo effects. He spent so long isolated and aggressively private despite a veneer of cockiness, I think he would find that hard to move from from the need to keep himself to himself, and Lewis honestly isn’t much different. When you’ve had your entire life paraded across a stage to be criticised, there’s part of you that wants some things to stay yours and yours alone, and after all they’ve both achieved, I can see how they don’t really want their relationship to be put infront of that.
Toto and Susie
George and Toto is such a complicated dynamic in this au, for so many reasons. For one, Toto doesn’t half paternally raise him through his formative years, when they meet and begin to interact properly, George is Toto’s shiny new driver he’s not sure what to make of, because Lewis essentially coached Toto into choosing him.
Toto is shrewd and business minded when he’s not letting his heart rule his head, and he doesn’t have any kind of bond with George to do that. He treats George similarly to how he likely treated Valtteri at first, he’s looking for someone who falls in line and doesn’t fight or cause problems with the team, to set them up and maybe win a few times till they find some future champions material- Toto doesn’t necessarily think George isn’t, but he doesn’t really know what to make of George. He shows up with two wins under his belt and some sparks of potential that could be gold dust, or they could just be light catching water. He has to be realistic no matter how much Lewis throws his weight behind George.
George doesn’t fare much better when it comes to being approachable. He is, for lack of a better word, traumatised by how Horner treated him like a beloved team member and then a pig for slaughter the second he faltered. Marko was even worse, George is used to being berated for any kind of car damage, or having his seat threatened if he fumbled more than one race in a row. The first time George has a horrible session and qualifies low, he probably has to stave off a panic attack. He’s trying to be strong and capable, trying not to act like a fragile wuss, but a cloying part of him is terrified the rugs going to be pulled from under him again, and then he’s truly fucked bc Red Bull would demote him, but Merc might fire him, and he’d have no one.
George is a good liar, Red Bull made him one, but he’s not that good, Lewis would probably drag him aside for a chat, try to reassure him sessions are shit sometimes and Lewis has had plenty of bad ones, the team doesn’t care as long as he’s trying, but for a guy like George that doesn’t really help much, even as he tries to fake a grin and wave Lewis off. That’s probably when Lewis would have to step in and speak to Toto himself.
I don’t want to set a precedent of Lewis fixing George’s problems, because George very much has independence a lot of the time, but this early after the move, George is handling a lot, and not wanting to really talk about any of it for fear of losing it all again. Toto knows some of why George split from redbull, he has to to even consider hiring him, but he’s not especially aware of how George ended up in that situation, how quick the switch up was, how deeply that fear sits in George’s gut. Lewis can’t share all of that, but he can fill in some of Toto’s gaps with what George has told him, and at least point out that when he’s comfortable, just how fucking fast George is.
With that knowledge I can see Toto developing a kind of softness for George, and at least attempting to learn more. He might ask to meet with George a little more in brackley, ask him about his history, and point out they’re not going to fire him over a shitty result or two, he’s not Christian. Toto’s bluntness would be… comforting to George, it may be harsh at times but he knows Toto doesn’t really seem to care to lie to him about it. He tells George bluntly about what they don’t want him to do, and well, George can work with that.
There’s probably also a time Toto tells George that Mercedes intended to offer him a junior seat, but by the time they’d got a contract drafted, George had signed with Redbull. George probably goes slightly white at that, and when probed, will try to say ah well, can’t change the past, all while sounding like he desperately wants to. Susie probably slaps Toto for that one.
I think with time George and Toto would build their own rapport. George learns to relax and tease Toto with maybe a little less ease than Lewis, and Toto learns George will always laugh when he insults Horner, and that part of George is still a kid who grew up too fast and could still use some praise. Toto has three kids, he can do that. George won’t ever say he needs it, but he might lean a little harder on Toto after a mechanical DNF when Toto tells him it’s not his fault, and he gets more comfortable grabbing Toto for a celebratory hug when they do win. The trust takes a long time to develop, it’s a little less paternal than in real life, but it is there. Toto is an authority figure George doesn’t have to be quite as terrified of.
As for Susie, I think George would like Susie a LOT. Lewis loves her, it’s an easy introduction. She’s a smoother voice than her husband and even if George isn’t Scottish, it feels closer to being home, the same ways Lewis does. Susie has whip fast whit and an energy about her that just makes people relax, and George is no different, he likes when she visits the team and always gets a good laugh out of him. George particularly would enjoy watching her and Lewis poke and tease each other, she’s known Lewis so long her quips dig deep, and that’s particularly hysterical to George
Maternal is difficult for George- she’s forever linked to Toto and it’s hard to forget that, so that keeps George at some distance. But she’s also so very different, and when Toto invites him and sometimes Lewis over to their home in Oxford, she’s always the one to greet him at the door and welcome him in. Susie knows all about hostile team environments and would probably happily insult Redbull with a glee and ruthlessness that would make George choke but actually relax a bit. George wouldn’t be caught dead calling her a maternal figure any day, but if he finds Susie’s presence eventually relaxing, that’s between him and God.
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
alright, since a lot of people are out of work/between jobs now, here are a lot of post team's/behind the scene employee's twitch channels. <3 (not all of them are super active on twitch but some of them are)
jarren martinez
larry matovina
tyler hazard
ash hildreth
jake
jacob mcduffee
perry johnson
ashley dillard
aaryn porter
sean houlihan
sarah weems
jillen
shelby
cameron hay
#roosterteeth#rooster teeth#inside gaming#dogbark#if i think too hard about when the last time we posted something like this was i'll die
556 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.
Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything 👍 Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him 👍👍
#and like I get that her intentions were good but i find it SO rude#why would you bring up something heart wrenchingly sad to someone on their birthday? Unless they've indicated to you that they want that#it wasn't even like it was a new picture/one she could reasonably believe I hadn't seen before#we literally used a cropped version of that exact photo for his obituary#she has done something similar with EVERY SINGLE holiday since he died#fathers day & his birthday & thanksgiving & christmas all of them we got texts like “i know how hard today must be!”#like uh no i was doing fine til I got your text actually cuz I was blocking it all out & now your text has forced me to think about it#we're not even that close? Like she legit had never texted me before my dad died#and the last conversation I had with her was her telling me that me needing help with things was co-dependence#rather than a legit need because I am disabled#and that keeping my curtains closed all the time was unhealthy#and when I tried to explain sensory issues she said that she 'gets headaches from the sun sometimes too but you just have to power through'#as if that's the same thing as sensory issues from autism#(which she is apparently an expert on because she is a nurse and has worked with a few young boys with autism)#like literally she claimed she knew better than my actual doctor who diagnoses autism for a living#or my therapist who sees me twice a week (whereas i speak to my aunt MAYBE once a year)#oh also did you know that I should totally be able to hold down a full time job?#because the 18 year old autistic boy she knows whose parents do literally everything to support him and who has zero other responsibilities#and a huge support network trying to meet his needs#well HE'S able to work part time at the movie theater#so obviously that means that I should be able to work too because we're all the same#yeah anyway sorry rant over#it just really upset me#also because I was so upset I forgot I wanted to go to the park on my way home from the weed store 😔#beth posts
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it's been a month since we moved into the new apartment -
I'm so stressed. everything is stressful. we're still not done building the kitchen but it's getting there (slowly). mostly we just need to wait until we get a couple parts that weren't in stock when we ordered the rest. I'm hoping it'll be done by next weekend.
some of it is very frustrating with my brain specifically. I'm so bothered by all the tiny little things that no one else would even notice - like, some of the handles on the drawers are very slightly crooked (as in, less than a millimeter higher on one side) - but for me it's so obvious that it's impossible to ignore. my husband didn't even know what I meant when I pointed it out to him. there's also been a few slightly bigger issues, but we've solved them now (I think).
my eye has been twitching for like three to four weeks. not all the time obviously, but every few minutes. it's very, very annoying.
we still have no new info about when we'll have internet finally. it could take a while still.
on Monday a guy has to replace something in the electric roller shutters in one room - but we don't know which one yet. so either I'll have to let him into my room (awful, uncomfortable, will have to tidy up tomorrow so he could even get to the window), or I'll have to get both our cats into their carrier if it's the one in my husband's room (awful, difficult, one of them doesn't like that so he'll be scared and I'll feel bad).
also on Monday the electrician will install our stove (if he has time). then we're getting two ikea deliveries. and I've got an appointment with my (new) GP because I need a prescription, and I'm very (verrry) nervous about it.
I miss watching TV. I miss tumblr and YouTube and messaging my friends whenever I want and sending them photos all the time. I miss order and structure and (some level of) routine. I miss using real cutlery (we still haven't found ours lol).
when I was finally starting to get used to the noises in this place, the family above us moved in with their baby that cries all the time very very loudly and most of the time right above my room. so now everything is different again and I'm not adjusting well and once again I can't sleep.
but, I've listened to 14 audiobooks since we moved! that's been nice. it was the same way when we moved the last time (just over a year ago..). my favourite by far was The Thursday Murder Club. I've got the other ones in the series but I'm trying not to listen to them too quickly, so I'm gonna listen to three other books first (one is done already, so I should get there on Monday or Tuesday hopefully).
#long rambly post sorry#I miss talking about the random uninteresting shit that happens in my life on here all the time#I've got data on my phone again now at least so that's good. but the phone signal is still awful indoors so it's not that useful#but anyway.... logically I know I'm doing an okay job with unpacking and everything but it doesn't feel like it#also I'm probably gonna have to try to find at least a part time job pretty soon and I'm really really really scared. terrified.#not just of trying to find something and interviews and all that#but that I won't be able to handle it. physically and mentally. again.#I've only had one full time job (an apprenticeship actually) and I lasted 3 months.#and at my part time job I only lasted a month#like. I can barely get anything done in a day as it is. I have so little energy. everything is so fucking hard and exhausting#I truly don't understand how everyone does it. I don't understand how it's possible.#but if I don't find something we won't have money for food next month sooooo it is sort of kind of important#it sucks so fucking much. I can't stand or walk for long periods of time. can't do too much with my hands. I'm not good at dealing with#people/customers. I panic and can't think when I get nervous (which is most of the time). I can't remember shit.#so like. what job am I supposed to do??? everything hurts all the time already and I'm always tired and I'm barely keeping it together#fuuuuck this#😭#personal
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Up until recently I was very confident in my identity as an aroace person. However lately all of my friends have been getting into relationships and it seems like all they want to talk about now is their romance and sexlives. We used to meet up and talk about our interests and the world and the future. Now all I hear about is dates and sex. It's not bad to be invested in your relationship and its not bad to want to confide in people about it. I would absolutely not mind talking about it but I wish it wasn't all we could talk about now. I feel lonely while I'm with people I've been friends with for years because we can't connect when we're together anymore. And maybe thats selfish of me but it's not like I don't want to talk about romance and sex at all, I just want to be able to talk about other things too.
#asexuality#aromantic#aromantism#asexual#aroace#I don't know man its just that when we hang out for 3 and a half hours and you spend 3 of them talking about your boyfriend its like#what do you want me to say about that#because i cant reciprocate with any stories of my own#and im having a hard time faking how excited i am to hear about how deep he apparently was last night#like girl i dont need to ever know that#this post is very specific to something that happened to me yesterday because i met up with an old friend who i hadnt seen in months#we used to have so much in common and we would spend hours on the phone every few days but now its like we cant talk at all#it also happened with another friend where we hung out for 6 hours and im not even joking she spend all 6 of them talking about the guy she#had a crush on#like i want to hear about your life and im fine talking about your sex life but bro#i have stuff to talk about too#and like??? how is this guy your whole life#what about your career and your hobbies and all that?#idk i think i just dont get it cause im aroace but it makes me feel lonely while im with people
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
I wonder is that person who keeps asking for Oda hole is the same that said Oda "didn't know Makoto was Tachibana's sister, otherwise he wouldn't have done what he did" and also "Granted, like, willingly stealing someone and selling them into sex slavery is bad, I get that, but we are talking about a game about organized crime. Good intention and good character is very, very subjective here, and I think, overall, Oda wasn't intentionally bad."
Which is honestly so fucked up. Imagine thinking anything that Oda did was okay just because he didn't know who Makoto was, as if him caring for Tachibana cancelled out just how hideous what he did was.
you're gonna have to back it up cause i didnt know there was such an Infamous scoundrel runnin amuck i didn't know this was an iceberg moment
either way what oda did was Pretty Bad ! regardless if whether he would have or would not have bro still did it- also how can be 'intentionally bad' or not when talking about what oda did 💀
#snap chats#listen listen listen im the last person to start talking about liking a character despite what they did and excusing their actions#i was thinking bout this the other week but there's just some crimes in fiction that are hard to swallow yk what i mean#like Yeah Yakuza Is About Organized Crime but we never see them do anything like. HEINOUS heinous#nothing outside of what you watch in an action movie yk#and tho we never see explicitly what happens to makoto the aftermath is still really evident and literally traumatic#its the fact that it's someone with a name and someone we grow to love throughout the story too that makes it especially hard#not to mention an integral part of her character- like that's literally why she's blind it's not something to brush off#idk idk im not the guy to talk about morality in fiction BUT trying to say what oda did wasnt bad is. Hm. strange.#or at least try to make an excuse for it yk im still trying to wrap my head around#'oh when he sold makoto into sex slavery he wasnt being intentionally bad'#idk idk again very. HM. very strange.#anyway i have to do my deranged posting i got this ask at such a weird time im just about to post 💀
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
0 notes
Text
how are you human?
so many interesting comments and thoughts on my post saying buds should consider not coming up to strangers in marginalized groups and saying 'how are you a real person that actually exists?'. i will point out this: despite my VERY gentle tone a few buds said i was having a 'meltdown' for even mentioning it
others said i was being too serious for someone who is ‘not a real person’. so if you would any more evidence of what it is like to be a buckaroo like myself there it is. every day, autistic folks who may seem ‘weird’ are bombarded with messages and comments and implications that they are fundamentally not human beings
sometimes it is outright and blatant like the comments on last post saying ‘well why are you getting mad? you are not even real’ and sometimes it is in the very subtle ways that folks use language when they talk to us. there is huge difference between ‘how do you exist?’ and ‘i am glad you exist.’
anyway, something that i think many people who have not lived this experience dont seem to understand is i KNOW the poster who said ‘how are you a real person that actually exists’ probably meant it as a compliment. that is THE POINT of why i am taking a moment out of my trot to gently and anonymously let them know how it might feel to be on other end of something like this as a queer or autistic or otherwise marginalized buckaroo. it is obviously not their intent to actually hurt someone, so i am letting them know
maybe because queerness and autism are not physically apparent it is hard to explain, but imagine going up to very tall or very short person and saying ‘cant BELIEVE you are real’ as a compliment. not a great way to treat others. on my original post, an indigenous author chimed in with their own experience and feelings similar to my own. a woman who said she was very tall told her story. point is, while i do not have their experience, what i am saying has a universal thread for 'othered' folks
point is: i UNDERSTAND there is this sort of exaggerated or ironic (or maybe even sometimes very literal) language around fandom to say things like ‘how are you a human?’ to creators, but since it is not your intent to hurt, i think you might want to know how that feels to marginalized buckaroos sometimes.
obviously you can say anything you want. i do not hold it against you. also, if you think ‘oh no, did i say something like this to chuck at a convention? i am so embarrassed' then DO NOT WORRY i promise you buckaroo you are just fine. i present myself in a way that is unusual by definition, so i have pretty thick skin about this type of thing and a lot of patience. MANY buds start off thinking i am ‘a joke’ and then become fans over time and i am glad to trot beside them and prove love is real.
however there are other autistic or queer or marginalized buckaroos with smaller platforms who hear this just as much as me, so i think it is important to say it loudly and maybe together we can work on making a very slight shift in the way we speak to the ‘others’ in our lives
we do not NEED to let subtle dehumanization slip into our language. in some cases it has been called ‘micro aggressions’ but i think buds dont often consider what that means for COMPLIMENTS. ultimately, telling marginalized people YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST may seem very fun and silly on the surface and for some folks it probably feels that way, but for others it can feel like a reminder of the broader doubt about their humanity. you can just say ‘YOU ARE AMAZING’ without the reminder of the many times autistic or queer or marginalized folks are told in a very serious and pointed way (like comments on the last post) ‘YOU ARE SO WEIRD THAT I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE NOT REAL’
buckaroos can take this information and apply it to their interactions, or they can ignore it, that is totally fine. we are all trotting our own trots and proving love in our own way and thats okay bud, HOWEVER i feel like it is important to at least let folks know, even if that means getting told i am having a ‘meltdown’. i think it is important to have complex or difficult conversations if it will prove a little more love in the long run. THANK YOU FOR READING BUCKAROOS. i am honored to trot forward with you can tackle this kind of thing with you, and honored you buckaroos have created such an amazing space with me to pull apart these kind of feelings. THIS IS PROOF THAT LOVE IS REAL LETS TROT
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
As the flash hits your eye, you feel something crashing into you from all directions. Below you is obvious, Bonbon situated themself to bump into you while the picture was taken. You look to your right, and Mirabelle’s cheek is pressed up to yours. On your left, Isabeau’s sheepishly hugged you to his side. There’s a hand in your hair, too, and it feels like Madame Odile. [...] “We need a souvenir of this trip,” Mirabelle adds. She rushes to the ground to pick up the picture and snort-laughs as she looks at it. “Oh no, Siffrin looks like we’re holding him hostage!” — Curtain Call, Chapter 9, by @openphrase123 (Link in the replies)
2024 October 22nd
Fanfic fanart fanfic fanart!! When I read the "hostage" line, it invoked such a clear image in my head of Siffrin tensed up like a startled prey animal that it got added to my list of things to maybe draw immediately.
Dooon't think about the words 'left' and 'right' in that quote too hard. I know how to read I prommy. :) (I did Not process those words and lost the coin flip in the composition phase...)
Close-up and ramblings about the cans of worms I unleashed upon myself under the cut
Time taken on this was [head in hands] 48 hours and 37 minutes.... That bloated number has two culprits:
1) I got a new tablet! My old one was 10 years old. Its plastic was melting and the electronics had ghosts in 'em, so it needed the sweet release of retirement. However, I had just gotten to the line art phase when the switch happened. Clumsily getting used to the new one during the most precise phase of the process did devastating things to my perfectionism.
2) I made a GRAVE mistake with how I chose to color this. I wanted to keep the grayscale layers for accuracy instead of just slapping a B&W filter over the colored version, so all the colors come from gradient maps, color balance layers, overlay layers, and raster layers clipped to other layers. Listen. I'm used to working with lots of layers. I like keeping things separate so I can edit them more easily. But this is the worst layer system I have ever created. Going from color to B&W requires toggling exactly 20 layers & folders on or off. There are 87 visible layers total. This file lags when you edit it. I've never wanted CSP v1.13 to have layer comps more in my life.
Not helping matters was Isabeau. I said he was the easiest to draw in my last post, but he took that as a challenge, apparently. It's a simple fist-on-hip pose, why was that so hard!?! His face gave me grief too.
Odile's lil' wave got added at the end of the line art phase. I've never added to a sketch that late in the game before, but I felt bad about how little screen area she got, haha. Girl, I tried, but this composition was not kind to you.
Giving Isa, Odile, and Siffrin skin colors felt cursed. Well... "color" is maybe a stretch for Sif. The pallor from being affection-jumpscared isn't helping. In the dev's nose reveal post, they said that Siffrin isn't white but is white-passing, so BOOM albinism headcanon. Like c'mon, they wear a big hat and have most of their skin covered because the sun is a deadly laser when you have little to no melanin and idk if sunblock exists in-universe. Heck, maybe most Islanders have it, their whole religion is about the night sky so maybe they're nocturnal. This makes perfect sense. :)
#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat mirabelle#fan art#2d art
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
bubble || LN4
☆ summary: internet sleuths find out that lando norris has been flirting with and potentially dating a relatively unknown singer
☆ pairing: lando norris x singer!reader
☆ fc & warnings: zinadelphia & slightly suggestive. you are responsible for the content you consume
☆ requested: nope!
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
f1gossip has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/37ffc40adfb4eeb442cef46e3288f0c5/deee5098880ec682-0e/s540x810/41bc6bef61e10c84b6e1244f89f42d6a45c2c033.jpg)
liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, yourbff and 18,345 others
f1gossip: it’s been brought to our attention by an anonymous user that our lando norris has been caught seemingly flirting in the comment sections (for at least the past 24 weeks based off the time stamps) with a small american artist, y/n y/l/n. he’s the only driver that follows her and has been consistently in her comment section hyping her up and calling her things like “gorgeous”, “talented” and “pretty.” what do you all make of this?
view all 653 comments
user1: oh my god lando????
user14: i’ve never once heard of this girl?
user2: how did we not know about this for the past 24 weeks guys wtf
user4: no like seriously…. seems like something we should have known already
user3: wait her music is really good tho 🥹
user7: her song mirrorball??? the girl has some vocals wow
user4: just looked her up and she’s beautiful… i see what he’s seeing
yourbff: screaming my head off at this
user1: and who are you??? do you know y/n??
f1gossip: check your dms yourbff
user5: she’s using him for fame!
user4: considering we all just found out about her…. imma go ahead and say no she’s not
user6: now how do i make this about me 🙂↔️
ynuser has added to their story
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ed81db29024a92f2eeb6eae1eb9bcbeb/deee5098880ec682-69/s540x810/edd1b3e51126a030b4fb3e0e394e498c2af60e57.jpg)
view all story the replies
user1: ooooo orange or papaya ???
yourbff: girl you fueling the flames with this post 😂💀
ynuser: HAHA i know… i got 24k new followers in the past 2 days since you sent me that post by f1gossip and figured id have some fun with it since there’s no hiding now
yourbff: who knew meeting that guy randomly in europe 6 months ago was going to turn out like this
ynuser: certainly not me girl. remember when i thought he was some weirdo who was just trying to hit on me in the bar??
yourbff: bc he had no rizz but max and p really swooped in and saved him and now look at you 🥹
ynuser: my perfect little no rizz baby boy 🥹 love of my life 🤭
landonorris: it’s papaya baby
ynuser: i couldn’t be too obvious now could i?
landonorris: nah go on then be obvious
ynuser: oh you want me to post you?
landonorris: yeah specifically that one pic you took of us in the mirror last night
ynuser: LANDO that is for OUR eyes only
landonorris: right yes
landonorris: i still think you should post me
ynuser: i don’t know if i want to burst our little bubble yet
landonorris: fair enough baby. you just tell me when! i’ve got paddock passes, pictures, plane tickets — everything lined up for when you’re ready
ynuser: 🥹😭 vegas? we go on our little vacation after im done my tour and you’re done in brazil and then pop the bubble?
landonorris: sounds great to me gorgeous but seriously no pressure
user2: my delusions are working over time
maxfewtrell: i’m trying so hard to defend your privacy and this is what you post
ynuser: what’s wrong with the color orange?
maxfewtrell: y/n
user3: ain’t ever seen you and lando in the same room but i somehow know yall doing it
user4: you’re so pretty and your outfits eat so hard wtf 😭
user9: praying this is a new song lyric idk who these new fans are talking about lando this lando that …. i need a new song
ynuser has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/31d3ad0bd23216813c5b8a620e91096d/deee5098880ec682-29/s540x810/2bbdc8a134836dd6f0e4a7e2d921d18d222717e0.jpg)
liked by youbff, yourfriend2, yoursibling, landonorris, maxfewtrell, ynupdates, and 54,235 others
ynuser: baby’s first headlining tour was a success! thank you to everyone who came out and sang along with me every night. i love you all dearly 🤍 and for all the newbies here, welcome 🫶🏻
view all 324 comments
user1: oh she’s so cute
user2: starting a y/n fan club rn yall
yourbff: you are making those dreams come true bb girl
ynuser: trying to 🥹
yoursibling: cutie patootie i love you
ynuser: i love you more
user23: the peoples most beautiful princess 🤍
user9: who are all you new people here
user2: lando norris fans. who are you?
user9: a y/n y/l/n fan. who is lando norris?
user2: a formula 1 driver!
user9: race cars?? i did not expect that…
user8: taking note of lando and max in the likes
user4: also taking note of their lack of a comment…. lando has commented on every single one of her posts before the f1gossip post dropped
user16: i was there last night!!! best show ever!!! love you y/n
user19: i’m obsessed with those cherry earrings
landonorris has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/66bc7475ff73fbd117cfc42bb8f715da/deee5098880ec682-37/s540x810/2d784bd5a272df6a6c94639f50e3248e9de5cf50.jpg)
liked by maxfewtrell, quadrant, mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, ynuser, alex_albon23, and 823,104 others
landonorris: a much needed break. vegas here we come baby
view all 743 comments
user1: i don’t know where to look ,, at the wh*re in the first pic or the soft launch in the second my god 😮💨😍😭😔💀
user9: ok user2… i get it now. also i’ve seen those white shoes in y/n’s posts before it’s def her
user2: omg you’re an icon for this
ynuser: dmn y’all really can identify me by my shoes?
user9: YN WHAT ARE YOU SOING HERE IM SORRY
user2: y/nlando confirmed
maxfewtrell: interesting choice of photos mate
landonorris: thanks! picked them myself
maxfewtrell: yeah clearly
pietra.pilao: 🤍
landonorris: 🧡
user2: i’m speechless
user55: hey lando idk if u heard but there’s a lookalike contest happening in my room tonight. $59 cash prize
oscarpiastri: those aren’t max’s legs 👀
landonorris: you’d be correct
user12: this is monumental
user18: my favorite sinister, evil and orange little gremlin
user14: you’re gonna cook in vegas king
ynuser had posted to her story
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/11ccaace0184a40110ec7073d31c10a0/deee5098880ec682-a6/s540x810/84946cd342ed81c00304c9998853b8585eef8626.jpg)
view all story replies
yourbff: this dress is eating in a way i didn’t think it would. i’m sorry for doubting you
ynuser: never doubt me 😤
lilyzneimer: had so much fun meeting you at dinner this evening!!! looking forward to spending the weekend with you at mclaren 🫶🏻
ynuser: omg it was so fun getting dinner with you and oscar!! i’m so so so glad to have you as a buddy in the paddock. i was super nervous about it all
lilyzneimer: it can be very overwhelming at times but we’ve got you y/n!!
ynuser: that means so much to me 🥹
user9: mother is mothering … in vegas?????
user12: are you in vegas per chance?! for the formula 1 grand prix?! for lando norris?!
user2: i fr need style tips and grwm’s from you y/n. every time you post an outfit it moves me
landonorris: in my hotel room 😈
ynuser: you got it ☝🏻 now hurry up and get back here
landonorris: trust me im hurrying
user8: i need someone to get you on a magazine cover stat
f1gossip has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6daa617c659c9216e4070c8446f1735b/deee5098880ec682-60/s540x810/346835d9873422e7b7dcc395306345a4e96c47ab.jpg)
liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6, yourbff and 19,231 others
f1gossip: confirmed! y/n y/l/n, singer songwriter, is in las vegas with lando norris for the las vegas gp. this seems to be their first official weekend out together
view all 327 comments
user2: as someone who has been deeply invested since the beginning (3 weeks ago).. this is everything
user9: my girl 🥹
user10: i truly wonder how in the world they even met… they’re such an interesting pair
user18: mclaren admin please ask him this weekend
user13: that should be me 😭
user24: ok wait guys im at the gp and y/n was walking through the paddock with lily and we waved her down because we had made some lando merch and she was honestly so sweet and stopped and took photos with us and chatted for way longer than she needed to. i truly hope she never changes she’s an angel
user21: this is so wholesome
user23: i fear she’s on track to become the people’s paddock princess in record time
user18: i have no one to send this to who will get it
mclaren has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/573f1c99facbee4c2481a1bb009761dd/deee5098880ec682-82/s540x810/a9417c2d455eb536d27f052e51944cd3d2e8de0f.jpg)
liked by landonorris, ynuser, maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, yourbff, and 432,444 others
mclaren: this weekends most requested interview just dropped! make sure to check out the full thing over on the mclaren app 🟠
view all 329 comments
user18: mclaren admin is a y/nlando girly confirmed
maxfewtrell: he’s leaving out the bit where i had to save him from completely bombing
landonorris: 😔 you’re not gonna let me live that down huh
ynuser: idk what would have happened if max didn’t come over and stop you from explaining why you hate fish so passionately
landonorris: babe please not on the public instagram
user2: lando norizz strikes again
landonorris: love when i get asked good questions like this!
user4: king said if one more person asks me abt wdc im gonna lose it. ask me abt y/n instead
user9: this is making it incredibly hard to gatekeep y/n
ynuser: that’s my man 🙂↔️
landonorris: damn right it is
user13: the mutual do you know who i am is lowkey so funny
landonorris has made a post
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1c9770a2fbec553186e9077541bb5d46/deee5098880ec682-ee/s540x810/29e41fc00be7e560ec8bce78c222048b25fefa35.jpg)
liked by mclaren, ynuser, yourbff, oscarpiastri, maxfewtrell, pierregasly, and 843,238
landonorris: thanks for being nice to me this time vegas!! oh and thanks for coming y/n 😈🏆
view all 854 comments
user12: i’m so proud of you lando
user9: wahooooo first race i watched and you won. i think me and y/n are good luck for you
mclaren: incredible drive lando! that’s our winner!!
ynuser: something about seeing you on that podium 😮💨
landonorris: oh you like that?
ynuser: yes 🤭
landonorris: alright podium finishes only from now on 😏
user19: oh you two are freaks i just know it
ln4: LFGGGGG
user13: congrats on the win and the hot gf 😭
carlossainz55: congrats lando!! and hi y/n!
ynuser: hi carlos 🤍
maxfewtrell: much better post mate
landonorris: why thank you. i worked hard on this one
user2: a win and a hard launch = double win for me
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
a/n: thanks for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated 🫶🏻
゚. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ゚
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#ln4 x y/n#ln4 fic#ln4 imagine#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 fluff#ln4 x you#lando norris social media au
1K notes
·
View notes